Consequences, Choices, and Confessions
by pari106
Summary: M/Z; This is complete! Chapter 14 *finally* posted!
1. Default Chapter

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
pari106@hotmail.com  
http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html  
  
  
Disclaimer: Dark Angel belongs to Cameron, Eglee, and Fox.  
Rating: PG-13  
Code: M/Z  
  
Summary: The consequences of one choice leads to another that may bring Max and Zack together, if a   
mistunderstanding doesn't tear them apart.  
  
A/N: I know aspects of this story have been done to death. But I've combined them, and hopefully, have   
made them seem new again.   
  
  
A/A/N: Some of you are probably wondering why the hell I have so many unfinished works floating   
around here. Well, when an idea comes to my head I just have to get it down. Unfortunately, I'm better at   
thinking ideas up than following them through. Don't worry, I will hopefully finish them all eventually.   
But until then I will continue posting them here. Please have patience with me. And review lots! That   
gives me the motivation I need to continue!  
  
  
Yet Another Author's Note: This is another of those stories I couldn't name well. You know the drill - if you have better idea for the name of this, let me know.   
  
One more note...: To those who saw the premiere already: what did you think? I have only one thing to say: "Earth 2". It was a science fiction show; thought it was great the first season. Don't remember it? That's my point. I love Dark Angel! But I forsee an "Earth 2"ish fate lurking in the distance...  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
The time had come.  
  
Even though Max had resolved herself to this course of action…even though she'd   
prepared herself for it… Preparing and performing were two very separate things.  
  
Max stared at the pack sitting beside her bed. That, her bike, and the clothes on her back   
were the only things she would be taking with her when she left Seattle.  
  
She couldn't believe it.  
  
After all this time, she couldn't believe she was just walking away. She'd fought so hard   
for the right to remain in Washington, her home. She'd fought Lydecker. Hell, she'd   
fought Zack. And now she was just walking away. It was the right thing to do. But that   
didn't mean it hurt any less to do it.  
  
Max threw her pack over her shoulder, taking a shaky breath and trying to curb the flow   
of tears that were already beginning to fall. It was no use. The silent tears slipped down   
her cheek anyhow as Max quietly rolled her bike out of the apartment. She didn't wake   
Original Cindy. She didn't dare. She'd told her weeks ago that she was going to do this.   
They'd fought ever since. Cindy couldn't believe she would walk away, either. She   
didn't think it was worth it.  
  
Max thought she was wrong.  
  
So there wasn't really any reason to wake her. She didn't need to say goodbye. In a way,   
she'd been saying her goodbyes for weeks now. Soaking up every last minute she could   
spend with her boo. And with Logan. With Bling and Herbal and Sketchy. Even   
Normal.  
  
Max cast one last, heartbroken glance in the direction of Cindy's room. Weeping softly   
as she left behind the best, and only human girlfriend she had ever had.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Max debated whether she should just leave without stopping by Foggle Towers, as well.   
But she couldn't quite bring herself to do it.  
  
If Original had been Max's best boo, Logan had been her kindred spirit. He was her   
friend, too. Leaving him was going to be the biggest bitch…  
  
But leaving without seeing him just once more was impossible.  
  
Max came into Logan's penthouse the way she'd come into his life – through the   
skylight.  
  
And she found him waiting for her.  
  
Logan was just sitting there in front of a window in the main room; candlelight   
illuminating his solemn profile – there had been another blackout tonight. Max was still   
crying. Logan didn't even turn in her direction when he heard her enter.  
  
"You're really going, then?" he asked quietly.  
  
Max just stood there, uncertain. She couldn't answer, but she didn't have to. Her silence   
was the only answer Logan needed. He closed his eyes.  
  
Max knew this was hard on him. She knew he didn't want her to leave. She knew he   
wanted a lot more from her than she was willing to give. And a part of him was still   
angry at her for that inability. A part of him resented her for it.  
  
So they just stayed as they were, as Max continued to weep.  
  
"Logan…"  
  
She didn't want this. She didn't want his anger or his resentment. She needed his   
understanding. She didn't want to hurt him, but there was no other way. She'd made her   
decision, and she knew in her heart that it was the right one. The only she could have   
made.  
  
Finally, Logan opened his eyes.  
  
He sat there a moment more, in silence. But when he turned to Max, a single tear had   
fallen from the corner of his eye, as well.  
  
He turned to her and said nothing. He just opened his arms.  
  
And Max was in his embrace in a second, clinging to him as her sobs finally burst free in   
noisy abandon. She laid her head in his lap and sobbed until she had no tears left to   
express her regret and her sorrow. And Logan simply stroked her hair the entire time,   
trying unsuccessfully to curb his own emotional reaction.  
  
After some time, when the tears had left her, and all that remained was numb exhaustion   
and a shaky hope for the future, Max rose, wiping her red eyes. She drew a halting   
breath, and shifted the pack on her shoulder. She and Logan had talked about this   
moment for a long time. They'd known it was coming. There was no need to   
procrastinate any longer.  
  
"I guess I'd better go," Max said. She spoke so softly Logan could barely here her.  
  
He knew her mind was made up, but he couldn't help but try, just one last time.  
  
"Max, you know you don't have to do this…" He reached out and grabbed her hand   
between both of his. Max's lips quivered as emotion threatened to overtake her yet   
again. She looked away from her friend.  
  
Logan sighed, squeezing her hand. Max felt that what she was doing was right. But   
Logan felt that it was wrong. The worst mistake she could possibly make, for any of   
them. He had a horrible feeling that if she left now, nothing good could possibly come of   
it.   
  
"I'm here for you, Max," he reminded her. His voice and eyes pleading. He stretched in   
his chair until he could reach up and grab her chin, making her look at him. He suddenly   
felt very tired and every bit of the twelve years older he was than Max. But he forced a   
firmness into his voice that contradicted the helplessness he felt in this situation. "My   
offer still stands," he told her. Then, softer: "It will always stand. Remember that."  
  
Max just stood there a moment. Then she nodded.  
  
"I know," she managed to respond. "I know." She drew a deep breath. Knowing what   
he was offering her, and appreciating what it had taken for him to do so. Few men would   
have been able to do the same. Max considered herself lucky to have known two men   
who both possessed that sort of nobility. But she was unlucky in that she couldn't keep   
one without losing the other.  
  
"But I can't do that, Logan," she told him. "Not if there isn't the other way."  
  
There wasn't anything more to say to that.  
  
So Max simply took one last look at Logan. At the man she loved as a friend. Who'd   
she'd once believe could have been so much more. Who still hoped to have so much   
more, though Max now knew friendship was as far as their relationship could go. She   
stared at him as if trying to memorize his every feature. He stared back. Then she turned   
and left.  
  
And after she was gone, Logan wheeled himself into the computer room. He had a very   
special Eyes Only broadcast to make tonight. A broadcast he'd agreed to make, as a   
promise to Max.  
  
He put on his headphones and set up his equipment with shaking hands. Then turned the   
system on, hoping the hatred he felt burning in his eyes would not show itself through the   
tv screen.  
  
"…this is an Eyes Only broadcast. This cable hack will last exactly sixty seconds. It   
cannot be traced, and it cannot be stopped. This message is for X5 599…"  
  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
…Bump….Bump…Bump…  
  
Zack shifted in his seat, trying to ignore the irritating sound.  
  
…Bump…  
  
But it was no use. He sent a glare in his brother's direction.  
  
"Do you have to do that?"  
  
Zane was lying on his back on the floor, throwing a tennis ball into the air. It would soar   
neatly upward, hit the ceiling, then fall back down into his hands while his dog watched   
eagerly. He would throw it every five times, and on the sixth time it fell, the canine,   
Fluffy, would take his turn, using its nose to send the ball upward again. Then the   
process would repeat. Zane and Fluffy were playing. Zack had never really seen the   
purpose in playing.  
  
"Why, does it make you nervous?" his brother asked with a grin.  
  
…Bump…  
  
With inhuman reflexes, Zack reached out and grabbed the ball in midair, then dropped it   
on Zane's chest.  
  
"Yes," he said simply.  
  
Zane raised a brow.  
  
"Good. You're making me nervous."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yes, you. Or you going or not?"  
  
Zack shifted again. Then he sighed.  
  
"Yeah, I'm going."  
  
Zane laughed. "Don't sound so thrilled, bro."  
  
Zack glared at him. It wasn't that he wasn't happy he'd be seeing Max again – Zane   
knew that. Zack was just worried about how "happy" Max might be about it. He'd   
evaded Manticore for far too long to die now, at the hands of his sister.  
  
Then Zack's glare turned inward as he realized he might very well deserve that fate.   
Damn but he'd messed up. Everything had just gotten so confusing…  
  
Zane got up and threw his ball across the room. Taking this as a cue that playtime was   
over, Fluffy chased it into the corner and settled down to chew it to shreds. Then Zane   
fell into the chair next to Zack's.  
  
"Hey, it'll be okay," he said, his expression uncharacteristically serious. This situation   
was very serious to him. He'd known what it was like to be in love, and it seemed sad to   
him that none of his other brothers and sisters ever seemed to grasp the concept. If Zack   
and Max had a chance…any chance at all…to find love and happiness with each other…   
Well, there wasn't anything Zane wanted more seriously than that.  
  
Zack nodded, but he wasn't sure he believed it. He'd stayed away too long. He'd taken   
too long to try to figure things out. He should have chased Max down the morning she'd   
left him and figured things out with her then. What if she hated him now? Or if she was   
disgusted by him, by what they'd done? He couldn't live with himself if that were true.   
He'd been born and trained to be cold and unemotional; to deal with loss indifferently.   
But even he had his weaknesses. And Max was the largest one.  
  
Zack didn't say anything more before suddenly the screen on Zane's television went   
blurry. He'd had it tuned to some god-awful music channel. But now static cut through   
the screen, and a familiar pair of blue eyes popped up between the "streaming freedom"   
feeds that were Eyes Only's trademark.  
  
Zane and Zack looked at the television as one.  
  
"Looks like Logan's at it again," Zane commented. He'd never met the man, but Zack   
had told him about him. And there'd been that time Logan had helped the X5s when   
Zack had been captured by Manticore, and their covers had been blown. That was one of   
the only times Zane had ever seen Eyes Only transmit across the county. That he was   
doing so again now signified that something important was happening.  
  
Meanwhile, Zack just clenched his jaw. Eyes Only. Logan Cale. The last man he   
needed to see right now, while he was planning to work things out with Max. But then he   
heard Eyes Only's words, and the rest of him tensed as well, concern snapping into his   
blue eyes.  
  
"…this message is for X5 599…"  
  
Zane looked at him. That was Zack's designation.  
  
"…there is a … situation with 452. This message will repeat every hour, on the hour,   
until you've made contact." Then the message was over, and Eyes Only disappeared.  
  
"…452…" Max.  
  
Zack and Zane both paled.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Logan sat in his penthouse, right where he had been for two hours now, playing that cable   
hack. His expression was grim. He didn't like refering to Zack or Max, specifically, on   
the t.v. That would no doubt capture Manticore's attention, and it was always a good   
idea not to get them riled up. But Logan hadn't known any way to contact Zack but this.   
And Max had wanted this to be on her timetable. If she just waited around for Zack,   
there was no telling when he'd return.  
  
'If he returned,' Logan thought to himself crossly.  
  
He himself had little faith in the younger man's dependability. Sure, if there was trouble,   
Zack would be there. He would always be there. He was a loyal and dedicated leader.   
But he didn't seem to be much of anything else. If he didn't have a reason to show up, a   
reason that pertained to the X5s and his "mission", then he just didn't show up. Plain and   
simple. If all you needed from him was a helping hand when things got tough…well,   
fine. Zack's your guy. But if you were Max…  
  
Logan sighed.  
  
He didn't know how it happened, but somehow Max had let herself get fooled into   
wanting more. And though he had objections to the plan, he hoped to hell that Zack   
didn't fuck this up. If he hurt Max…  
  
Then the phone rang.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Zack came back into the main room with a frown.  
  
"How's Logan?" Zane asked.  
  
"He's an asshole."  
  
Despite the situation, Zane smiled. "Oh, come on."  
  
But Zack's expression didn't lighten. "I have to got to Washington," he said. Which is   
what he'd been planning to do all this time. But something in the way he said it now   
caused Zane to worry.  
  
"Is it Max?" he asked quietly. Please, God, don't let something have happened to Max.  
  
Zack hesitated a moment then shook his head. "I don't know. Logan didn't say much.   
He just told me where to show up."  
  
He looked his brother straight in the eyes.  
  
"Stay by the phone," is all he said. Then he left.  
  
Zane nodded. He wasn't going to move within an inch from it until he heard from Zack   
again.  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
pari106@hotmail.com  
http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html  
  
  
Disclaimer and rating in chapter 1.  
  
A/N: This timeline begins shortly after "I And I Am A Camera", and flashes back to shortly after "The   
Kidz Are Aiight." In this AU, "Hit a Sista Back" never happens. Therefore, neither does the events of   
"Meow" or AJBAC.  
  
  
A/A/N: Oh...and thanks for all the reviews :D Wonder how I got so many...(laughs maniacally). No, seriously, thanks. And keep it up! Hope the updates don't disappoint.  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Max reached the tiny little town she'd told Logan about. It was more of a truck stop than a town, really –   
just a couple of bars, a diner, a filling station, and a cheap, old motel. When she got there, Max headed   
straight for the motel. She parked her baby around back and rented a room at the far end of the building.  
  
Then she went inside to wait.  
  
The waiting was going to be a problem. As long as she could keep busy, ever since the last time she'd seen   
Zack, she'd been okay. But when there was nothing to do but wait…it could drive her crazy.  
  
Max dropped her pack by the door, and lay down on the only bed in the room. The covers were worn, and   
didn't look particularly clean, but at this point Max didn't care.  
  
It was starting again. The cramps, the nausea. Max just clutched her stomach and lay there, crying.  
  
And as she did she thought about the last time she'd seen Zack…  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
About two months before…  
  
The first thing Max noticed when she awoke, early that morning, was that this was not her apartment.  
  
There were no coffee smells. No "Suga, you betta wake up. If you're late for work one more day,   
Normal's gonna chew your hide. And Original Cindy don't need the drama today, aiight?" Nothing.  
  
Then she noticed that this was not her bed. Nor did the arm, so casually draped across her hips, belong to   
her.  
  
Max's eyes flew open and sudden realization dawned.  
  
Max didn't sleep much. But when she did, when she was tired or sick, she slept like the dead. Everything   
left her head except for the dreams that came next. Including her memory. So when she woke, it took her a   
moment to take stock of her surroundings.  
  
So Max lay there and took stock.  
  
She was in a motel room. Clean enough. The bed was comfortable, and the body laying next to her in it…  
  
Max was naked. As was the man sleeping beside her, one arm wrapped possessively around her waist, the   
other lying across her side. His face was burrowed in the crook of her neck and she could feel his warm,   
deep breaths against her skin, stimulating the nerves up and down her spine. They were pressed intimately   
against one another. Very intimately. His larger, warmer, muscular body was spooned around hers, their   
legs intertwined. She could feel…  
  
Max swallowed. Well, never mind about that.  
  
A lot of emotions assaulted her as she recalled the night before. Surprise, affection. Desire. Max caught   
her breath as the man shifted in his sleep, drawing her even closer to him. Electricity snaked through her   
body, shooting off from every point where her body touched his, and bringing a small sigh to Max's lips.   
  
But there was also fear. Fear, confusion, and uncertainty. There was this sinking sensation as though she'd   
just jumped off of a cliff without looking where she might land, too caught up in the moment to be afraid.  
  
She looked over at the corner of the room. Her clothes were piled up there with his. Her boots were lying   
under the table sitting there. His leather jacket was hanging off the chair sitting there beside it.  
  
Zack's leather jacket.  
  
Max felt a new emotion join the others inside her mixed up, Manticore-made body: panic.  
  
She turned, doing so slowly and easily so that she wouldn't wake her lover…  
  
'Lover? Oh my God…'  
  
She turned and saw Zack.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Max's heart was beating so fast, just thinking about that last morning that she saw him, that at first she   
thought that was the sound that had pulled her out of her reverie. That her own heartbeat had interrupted   
her thoughts.  
  
But then she realized the sound had been a knock at the door.  
  
Max sat up suddenly. Too suddenly, because she had to grab her head to keep from falling over at the   
movement. Her eyes flew to the door.  
  
The knock came again.  
  
Max's palms were sweaty and her breath was shaky. She'd been waiting for this for a long time.  
  
She rose and went to the door, slowly pulling it open. Zack was standing on the other side.  
  
For a moment, the two of them simply stared at one another. Neither realizing that the other seemed just as   
floored by this reunion as they were. They simply stared, wide-eyed. Nervous.  
  
"Maxie," Zack said, releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, until just now that he saw   
she was okay.  
  
Or at least she looked mostly okay. She was so pale…  
  
"Zack…"  
  
That's all Max could say. Then she fainted into Zack's arms.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
During the entire trip to Washington, Zack put his bike to the test, racing himself to get to the specified   
destination as fast as he could. It wasn't very far away. Zane was just living in the next state. Which was   
convenient, because Zack didn't know how he'd hold up if he had to wait any longer than that.  
  
He was consumed by his fear that something had happened to Max.  
  
"What's wrong with Max?" he'd said as soon as Logan had picked up his phone.  
  
There was a moment of silence on the other end. "Hello to you, too," came the other man's sardonic reply.  
  
Zack had scowled into the receiver. "What's…" he began to repeat himself, but Logan didn't let him   
finish.  
  
"Who says anything's wrong with her?"  
  
"Listen, you son of a…"  
  
Logan had cut him off.  
  
"Max is fine," he'd said. But the grim tone of his voice made Zack worry otherwise. "But there's some   
place you need to be."  
  
"What? Where's Max?"  
  
"You'll find out. Just show up where I tell you to, and you'll figure things out for yourself."  
  
Zack had seen red at the obviously antagonistic attitude Logan was giving him. But his worry over Max   
had overcome his anger.  
  
"Show up where?" he'd asked. And Logan had told him. So that's where he was heading, at top speed.  
  
And if he were a praying man, he would have spent every moment of the trip in prayer. It would just be   
fitting that something would happen to Max now. Now when he'd finally realized what he had to do for   
her. No matter what Zack did, it seemed that all his life something had to happen to ruin his plans.  
  
"Not this time," he mumbled to himself. Not now. Not when his plans concerned Max. He would let   
nothing happen to Max. Nothing.  
  
And he wasn't a praying man, so he occupied his thoughts with memories instead. Memories of the last   
time he and Max were together. And of the events that led up to that moment.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
About three months before…  
  
Zack's world had just turned upside down.  
  
He and Tinga had just been settling into their new lives in Quebec. He hadn't meant to stay as long as he   
had, but his sister had seemed oddly distraught when they'd crossed the Canadian border. She'd been   
jittery and emotional ever since. So he'd agreed to stay with her a while and help her settle in. And that's   
what he'd done.  
  
Then she dropped the bomb.  
  
He'd gotten her a cabin by a lake – never mind where he'd gotten the funds for something like that. He'd   
figured it was the least he could do. Tinga seemed heartbroken to be leaving Portland. And since he'd   
been the one to blow her cover, Zack had felt responsible. They were sitting outside the cabin, on the   
porch, when Tinga told him.  
  
"What did you say?" he asked after a long silence. His voice was low and quiet, and he spoke carefully.   
This was usually a bad sign. Tinga began to cry.  
  
"I said I…I have a family, Zack. A little boy…"  
  
Zack was on his feet in a second. He just had to move. He had to do something, or he'd hit something, and   
he'd turn a gun on himself before he'd hit his sister simply out of anger. He ran his fingers through his hair,   
desperately trying to remain calm.  
  
"You…you have…" his words tumbled over one another. Finally, he stopped and took a deep breath.   
"How can you have a son?" he demanded harshly.  
  
Tinga glared up at him through her tears. "Gee, Zack, I wonder." Then her defiant expression crumpled as   
easily as it had appeared.  
  
"Zack…"  
  
She walked up to him, putting a hand on his arm, her eyes pleading for understanding. But he brushed her   
off.  
  
"Zack, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I guess I…"  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I guess I was afraid that you would do what you're doing now. That you'd make me leave them."  
  
Zack kind of laughed. It was an involuntary, humorless reaction. And he gave it mostly because he didn't   
know how else to react without breaking down and crying himself.  
  
"That's not fair, Tinga," he said finally, serious again. In control again. He always had to be in control.   
"You had to leave because Lydecker was onto you," Zack reminded her.  
  
"I know, but I…"  
  
"What do you want? For me to say I'm sorry again? One more time – do you think that's going to help?   
I'm sorry I fucked my family over by not keeping my big mouth shut? Well, I am, okay! I'm sorry! Is   
that better?"  
  
Tinga simply watched Zack as he ranted. A lot of different emotions were playing out on her face.   
Irritation at his reaction to her confession, anger; but also compassion and love. She would never stop   
hating Manticore for what they had done to her brother.  
  
She waited until his tirade ended, and he had calmed slightly, before she reached out to him again. This   
time he let her hand lay where it was, but he didn't look at her.  
  
"There's nothing you could have done differently, Zack," she told him, grabbing his chin and making him   
look at her when he would have shaken his head in denial. "Nothing," she insisted firmly. "There was no   
way you could have known Manticore was listening in on you."  
  
"But I should have expected it. I should have known…"  
  
"Oh, yes, the big bad CO. You should know everything, right? You shouldn't be capable of pain or   
weakness or *humanity*, right?" Tinga's words were heated, and Zack flinched despite himself, as if she'd   
actually slapped him. But that wasn't what she'd meant. She sighed, putting her hands on either side of   
Zack's face. Knowing he was uncomfortable with this sort of emotional expression, but doing it anyhow.  
  
"There's no way you could have known," she repeated. "You did everything you could to keep us safe.   
No one…no one, Zack…could have survived what you have and still have protected the X5s the way you   
did." Tinga's voice cracked there at the end, and this time Zack didn't try to argue.  
  
Then she let her hands fall away, drawing a shaky breath.  
  
"This isn't about you, Zack. It's about me," she said, tiredly. Finally he looked at her. "I thought…when   
you and Max came for me, I thought it would just be best if I left Charlie and Case behind. I thought it   
would be safer." Her eyes began to tear again. "I thought I could do it, but I can't."  
  
Zack just stared at her, then he shook his head, his eyes fluttering open and closed for just a moment.  
  
"So that's it, then? You're going to go back there, risk going back there? Disregard your family's safety   
by looking them up again? You'll be leading Lydecker straight to them." There was no anger or desire to   
wound in Zack's words. To him, that was a perfectly acceptable argument. He wasn't implying that Tinga   
was being selfish or inconsiderate. He was only pointing out the very real danger that lay ahead for her if   
she chose to return to the states. Tinga realized this.  
  
"That's assuming that leaving them will keep them safe," Tinga said in her defense. "I don't think so any   
more, Zack. Lydecker knows I was in Portland. Charlie and Case are still there and they have no idea   
what kind of danger they could be in. What if Lydecker keeps looking? What if he finds out they're there?   
What if he tries to use them to get to me?"  
  
"He won't have to, if you go back there anyway. You'll be playing right into his hands and he won't have   
to lift a finger."  
  
"But he won't be expecting me to return this quickly. And it's so soon, I doubt he's found out about   
Charlie or Case yet. But the longer I wait, the bigger the chance that that could happen."  
  
Zack listened to her words, her determination, and he sighed. Tired of fighting. Tired of always fighting.  
  
"We had a deal, Tinga," he said quietly. "We agree…"  
  
"No, Zack. You agreed. You decided how the rest of us X5s should live. And I know you only mean the   
best. But I can't live like that, Zack. That's why Max won't leave Seattle, because she can't live like that."  
  
"The others…"  
  
Tinga sighed. "No, Zack. The others don't want to live like that, either. Did you know that that time Syl   
"lost" your number? She didn't lose it, Zack. She threw it away before she even looked at it."  
  
Zack blinked. "What?"  
  
Tinga just nodded.  
  
"That's crazy!"  
  
"She was happy Zack. She wanted to stay that way. Even if it meant putting herself in danger, she wanted   
to be happy. We all go through that."  
  
Zack shook his head. "Putting herself in danger like that… You're telling me you agree with her? Risking   
your life for some silly phase we all go through?"  
  
Tinga frowned. "It's not a phase, Zack. And it's not silly. We all want a little bit of happiness. That's   
life, Zack. You have to have a little of something good in your life, or what is it worth living for, anyway?  
  
And Charlie and Case…they're that good something in my life. They *are* my life. I can't let them go. I   
was crazy to think that I could."  
  
"You're crazy now."  
  
Tinga smiled, but the gesture seemed almost sad. "Maybe so. But if you think loving someone is crazy,   
then I don't want to be sane."  
  
Zack rolled his eyes. But Tinga's words were starting to tear into him and his mind was reeling. He'd   
always had so much trouble from Max. From Zane and Ben. There had even been a time or two when   
Jondy or Krit had disobeyed orders. But Tinga had never fought him. He'd always thought that she   
understood. Now he was questioning the very basis of the way he led his team. And now he learned that   
Syl had lied to him. That she'd purposefully lost his number, even though he'd only given it to her to   
protect her…  
  
His whole world was spinning.  
  
Tinga watched these thoughts play out on her brother's face. She was sorry that she had to break the news   
to him this way. But the X5s were growing up all around him, and Zack hadn't even realized how they   
were changing. He'd never considered changing his policy as well. And Tinga was sorry to see him look   
so tormented, but she hoped that he'd take this news the right way. That he'd use it to reevaluate the way   
he did things. Find a way that allowed them all to survive, but live at the same time. A way that would   
allow him to finally live, for the first time.  
  
"We love you, Zack," she told him now. "You might not want to hear it, but it's true. We love you and we   
worry about you. But we can't keep doing things this way. I'm going back to Portland. I've made my   
decision. And if you keep convincing yourself that that is wrong, then you're going to run into this same   
obstacle over and over again, with every one of your brothers and sisters. I don't want that to happen,   
Zack. I don't want you to have to spend your whole life feeling like a harried father trying to control his   
recalcitrant children. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like a disobedient child."  
  
Tinga's words might have been harsh, but they got through to Zack. He simply stared at her.  
  
"I want you to think about things, Zack. Think about your life. Think about whether or not you've ever   
really had some happiness in it. Think about what you left behind." 'Max,' Tinga thought, knowing that if   
Zack weren't thinking the same thing, then he should. She'd seen the way her baby sister had looked at   
Zack when they'd left. Zack only saw how she looked at Logan, but Tinga saw more. She saw realization   
starting to dawn in Max's eyes. New and confusing emotions starting to take hold. She hoped her brother   
could open his eyes and see the same things before it was too late to do something about them.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
"Think about it, Zack," Tinga had said.  
  
So Zack had thought about it. He'd thought about it in Canada. And he'd thought about it as he crossed   
the border. He'd thought about it as he entered Washington.   
  
And, finally, he'd thought about it that day, about a month later, when he'd arrived in Seattle.  
  
And when he was through thinking about it, he'd gone to find Max.  



	3. Chapter 3

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
Disclaimer and rating in chapter 1.  
  
  
  
Chapter 3  
Two months ago…  
  
When Zack got to Seattle, he didn't even bother looking Max up at her place – she was most probably at   
Logan's. This thought hurt him, but he realized that it was true. So that's where Zack headed – to Logan's,   
his palms sweating on the trip over.  
  
What was he doing?  
  
He knew there was something going on between Max and Logan. Why did he even bother going over   
there, to the guy's own house, trying to take his girl.  
  
Then Zack's jaw clenched, and his resolve was bolstered.  
  
Screw that. Max was *his* girl. She always would be, whether she knew it or not. She would always   
have his love, whether she wanted it or not. He couldn't just let Logan settle into her life without even   
asking her to give them a chance.   
  
Tinga's words just kept ringing in his ears. "Think about what you left behind…"  
  
Max, he had felt her name on his lips as his sister had said that.  
  
He had decided to consider what Tinga had told him in Quebec. He'd decided to try something different   
with the X5s; with himself. He'd decided to try to make a life for himself. If he could. He had no idea   
where to start. But he knew that he couldn't see a life that didn't have Max in it. He had to know if that   
were possible before he could decide upon anything else.  
  
So Zack headed up to Foggle Towers. But he didn't find Max the way he'd expected.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
"I…I can't believe this…" Max stood there, shaking her head. The anger in her tone was supposed to   
cover up the pain and betrayal she felt tearing at her. But it wasn't doing a very good job.  
  
Logan sat, frozen where he was, unable to move. Unable to look away from Max's heartbroken expression.   
Unable to keep his voice from cracking.  
  
"Max…"  
  
But Max wasn't listening. She turned to him, holding up the file she'd found. The pain inside of her had   
grown so consuming that her senses felt dulled and numb from trying to contain it.  
  
"I can't believe this…" she simply repeated, her eyes turning cold and hard.  
  
Logan didn't say anything at first. What could he say? It had finally dawned on him what a huge,   
incredible mistake he had made. What a horrible thing he had done.  
  
He didn't say anything at first, but Max obviously expected something.  
  
"I wanted to help you…" he began, weakly. Then stopped as she saw the rage building in Max's   
expression. For the first time since he'd met her, he was actually afraid because of her. Not of her. He'd   
dealt with the fear inspired by those pictures Lydecker had sent him when his uncle had died. He didn't   
know why he hadn't shred them. But he hadn't. And now that mistake might cost him Max. And he was   
afraid of that.  
  
"You wanted to help me?" Max demanded, coldly. "By contacting my enemy?" Her voice rose at this.   
Then she threw the file at him. Logan didn't even flinch to try and avoid it. He deserved it, he knew. He'd   
only been trying to do what he had to do to stop Ben. To find out what was going on with Max so he could   
keep her safe. But he hadn't trusted her. He'd lied to her and had gone behind her back to contact the man   
who had stolen her childhood. He'd doubted her. And he knew he deserved a tirade for what he had done,   
at least.  
  
The file hit Logan's chest, the pictures within spilling out across the floor. Max quickly looked away from   
them, her face crumpling at the sight of herself, at nine years old, covered in blood.  
  
"You thought those would help me?"  
  
"Max…"  
  
"What? Do you get off thinking of me as some mindless killing machine, just like Lydecker says I am? Or   
is that how you've always thought of me?"  
  
Logan's jaw clenched. "You know that's not true."  
  
"Do I?" Max asked. The anger was starting to wane again. The pain beneath threatening to rise up once   
more, and Max couldn't let that happen here in front of him. In front of the man she'd thought was her   
friend. The man she'd thought would understand her. Would trust her and believe in her. The way she   
trusted him; the way she believed in him. "I don't know anything anymore," she said truthfully. She felt   
like the world had been pulled out from under her. She had to get out of there.  
  
She ran for the door before Logan could stop her, eyes filling with tears now that he finally couldn't see   
her.  
  
"Max? Max!" he called after her. "Max, wait!"  
  
The desperation in his voice made Max stop, for just a second.  
  
"Max, I made a mistake," he told her, a tear of his own slipping down his cheek. But Max hadn't been   
looking so she didn't see. It wouldn't have stopped her if she had. She knew all about mistakes. She'd   
made plenty. But she'd never made a bigger mistake than the one she'd made thinking Logan could ever   
truly accept her. Completely accept her. Without question. He would always question – it was in his   
nature. And her very nature as an X5 made her something questionable.   
  
She couldn't deal with that. She'd spent her whole childhood defending her humanity from the people   
back at Manticore. She couldn't spend the rest of her life defending herself to Logan, as well. She couldn't   
handle having to prove herself to him every time he saw something, or she did something, that he didn't   
like. She'd stayed with him all this time, had risked herself for him. Wasn't that proof enough?  
  
"I know," she said simply.  
  
Then she flew out of the penthouse before she could burst into tears.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Zack decided to be nice, considering the delicate nature of his plans tonight, and to enter Logan's place the   
proper way – through the door. So he came up through the elevator. He'd just stepped onto Logan's floor,   
when someone or something came rushing past him.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
He grabbed the person by the arm, making them slow down enough to figure out what the hell was going   
on.  
  
His eyes widened and his hand dropped to his side as he realized it was Max.  
  
"Maxie?"  
  
And she was crying. No, she wasn't just crying – she was sobbing. Her whole body was shaking.  
  
"Zack…" he could barely hear her. Then she just shook her head. She couldn't talk right now. She just   
couldn't. She ran away again, leaving Zack standing there in the hallway, wondering.  
  
Then his body tensed. His face hardened, and his eyes narrowed. And he approached Logan's door   
slowly.   
  
For the sake of the other man's life, he'd better pray that Zack cooled off by the time he got in the   
penthouse. Because if Zack hadn't, and if Logan had hurt Max…Zack would not be held responsible for   
the bloodshed that would follow.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
After he left Logan's, Zack raced down the stair well, three at a time, not wanting to wait for an elevator.   
He jumped on his bike. He didn't know for sure where Max had gone, but he had a good idea.  
  
It hadn't taken much for Zack to figure out what had happened. He'd walked into the penthouse to see   
Logan sitting in the computer room, his head in his hands. Pictures of Max as a child lay scattered at his   
feet. Pictures of her covered in blood, participating in a "training exercise".  
  
Zack hadn't been surprised. Hadn't he told Max, time and time again, that this guy wouldn't understand   
who and what they were? What they'd been? No matter how much he might want to understand.  
  
What surprised Zack was his own reaction to the pictures. They didn't bother him, really. He'd come to   
terms with that part of his past. Thinking of how they must have hurt Max… now that bothered him. But   
he hadn't confronted Logan. He hadn't lashed out. He hadn't even made a sound. He'd just taken in the   
scene, then he'd turned and walked away.  
  
There was no use in berating Logan, he'd realized. Logan seemed to be doing a pretty good job of that   
himself.  
  
So Zack had left, and had headed for the most likely place to find Max when she was upset: the Space   
Needle.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Zack wasn't particularly comfortable with handling emotional situations. Nor was he particularly   
comfortable with emotions in general. He'd had so little experience with the softer human emotions, after   
all.   
  
But loving Max had given him a different perspective on emotion than he'd had before they hooked back   
up. Max was very emotional. So Zack realized he would have to learn to deal with emotions on a daily   
basis – something with which he was unfamiliar. The learning would serve him two purposes. For one,   
he'd be able to deal with Max herself much easier. And second, he'd be able to deal with his own   
emotions, which he hadn't even acknowledged until he fell in love with Max.  
  
Granted, he hadn't put this perspective into practice, as of yet. But there was no time like the present.  
  
Zack approached Max were she sat on the edge of the Needle's roof, rubbing sweaty palms against the   
thighs of his jeans. For crying out loud, he was nervous. He was never nervous.   
  
What he'd give for a war right now.  
  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
Max sat, staring down at the Seattle nightlife, not really seeing it. She hadn't really seen anything on her   
way over. All that kept flashing before her eyes were those horrible pictures. That one little ghost that had   
come back from her past to haunt her.  
  
Her ears filled with the words Ben had spoken the last time she'd seen him…  
  
"…you were what you were meant to be…a killer…a predator…"  
  
And her eyes filled with tears.  
  
But mostly her heart just filled with pain. Max was young, but suddenly she felt so old; so tired. So much   
had happened in the last months: Ben's death, Zack's capture and escape, the surprising and confusing   
emotions that seeing him again had caused. And all this time all that had been constant for Max was   
Logan. All that she'd had to comfort her and keep her sane was Logan's friendship. He'd helped her try   
and put Ben behind her. He'd been there for her when Zack and Tinga had left Seattle, and she couldn't   
follow. He'd had his own issues to deal with at the time, but he'd been there.  
  
He'd helped Max convince herself that maybe the disturbing emotions she'd felt when she'd gone to help   
Zack out of Manticore had been imagined.  
  
Zack was her brother. She'd been worried about him; she cared for him. That anger she'd felt when she'd   
seen what Manticore had done to him, that overwhelming craving for vengeance…surely that was just a   
symptom of sisterly love. The ache she'd felt in her heart when he'd cried, the emptiness she'd felt when   
he'd left, the spark she'd felt when they'd touched…  
  
Better not to think about that. Either way, whatever she'd felt, Zack was no longer around here. But,   
regardless, Logan had helped Max through it.  
  
Now the person who'd helped her, was the one who'd hurt her. Now she needed someone to be there, to   
understand. To comfort her and help her think. And it couldn't be Logan, because he was the one it hurt to   
think about. Now she had no one. No one she would burden with this.  
  
But suddenly she did.  
  
"Maxie?" A familiar voice spoke softly from behind her. Zack's voice.  
  
Max froze, then turned.  
  
"Zack…"  
  
She was breathless. She didn't really believe he was there. She vaguely remembered passing him outside   
of Logan's penthouse, but she'd been too upset at the time to register his presence. It registered now.  
  
He was standing partially in the darkness, just behind her – tall and straight, like always. Zack didn't know   
how to slouch. The moonlight barely glanced off his dark leather jacket and off of the gold of his hair.  
  
"Zack."  
  
Max tried to force neutrality into her voice, and tried to wipe away her tears without making a production   
out of the gesture. Without letting Zack see how upset she'd been. How upset she was. She knew how   
Zack felt about human emotion, weakness.  
  
But Zack surprised her by quickly stepping out of the shadows. He knelt beside her, his expression   
concerned and his voice firm.  
  
"Don't," he told her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't hide from me," Zack said.  
  
With tenderness Max hadn't seen since that night at Logan's cabin, seemingly so long ago, Zack reached   
out and touched her. He wiped another tear away from her eye.   
  
That night at the cabin had been the start of the odd feelings Max had developed for her brother. That   
night, as they'd talked about the escape, and had drank wine by firelight, Zack had reached out to her. And   
she'd felt the effect of his touch all the way through her. That had been the night she'd first begun to   
consider that perhaps she and Logan had been heading in the wrong direction. That perhaps they really   
weren't "like that". And that had been the night when Max had realized, much to her surprise and terror,   
that perhaps she and Zack were.  
  
And now all those feelings from that night came back to Max. All the time she'd spent since then,   
particularly since the last time he'd been in Seattle, trying to convince herself that she'd been crazy,   
disappeared. All the time she'd spent secretly longing for Zack to return, picturing his face, remembering   
his smile, his touch…all of that time came back to her. As did all of the emotions she felt for her one-time   
brother.  
  
Max had always known she loved Zack on some level. She'd always known that he was important to her.   
It simply hadn't occurred to her that he could be important to her as someone she'd fallen in love with.   
  
And she hadn't acknowledged this until she'd lost him, again, after he'd escaped Manticore and she'd   
helped him and Tinga get to Canada. After that, Max had done everything she could to deny that   
acknowledgment. To forget about it. But she just couldn't.  
  
Now, looking at Zack, sitting so near to him, after having needed so badly to have him near, Max forgot   
why she'd tried to forget.  
  
'Don't hide from me, Maxie," he repeated. "I understand."  
  
Max swallowed, even as she felt new tears form.  
  
Yes, he did understand, didn't he? He'd always understood, unlike anyone else. She hadn't gotten that at   
first. She had thought that since he disagreed with the way she lived, that he didn't understand why she   
lived that way. Now she realized that wasn't true. She looked into his eyes now, and she saw   
understanding there – real understanding. Not like what she'd seen in his eyes that time she'd had the   
chance to leave Seattle, but hadn't. Not like what she'd seen in Logan's eyes tonight, even as he tried to   
defend what he'd done when he'd contacted Lydecker.  
  
Zack understood; he always had. He'd always been there when he could; when she'd let him. He'd always   
loved her. Max had come to realize this.  
  
Max met Zack's blue eyes with her brown ones. She'd always loved his eyes. Even back at Manticore,   
she'd thought they were beautiful. She hadn't known the word 'beautiful' back then. Beauty was   
inconsequential. She never would have voiced it even if she had, for fear of punishment. But now she   
knew she'd thought they were beautiful. They reminded her of a lake she'd glimpsed, once during a   
training exercise out in the woods behind the compound. It was calm, clear. But she hadn't been able to   
see past its surface because of the cold, gray world reflected across it.  
  
She wanted to simply drown in those eyes now. To forget the turmoil with Logan, and the turmoil that had   
followed them their entire lives. To forget these last, difficult months of knowing, deep down, that she   
loved Zack, but being unable to admit it to herself because she thought that he was lost to her. She wanted   
to forget the nightmares in their past, and the obstacles that lay ahead in their futures. She just wanted to   
drown in Zack's eyes and lose herself in a love she'd denied for too long.  
  
"Max?"  
  
It wasn't till Zack spoke her name again that Max realized she'd just been sitting there, staring. He was   
frowning now, worried.  
  
"Maxie, are you okay?"  
  
Maybe he should have killed Cale, after all. He hadn't realized Max was this upset.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Present Time…  
  
  
  
"Hey, buddy, are you alright?"  
  
With a jolt, Zack snapped out of his reverie. He turned, the memories clearing from his eyes, leaving the   
concerned visage of a fellow motorist, leaning out the window of his pickup truck.  
  
Zack frowned.  
  
He'd been sitting at this same stoplight for ten minutes now, watching it change. He'd been so caught up in   
his thoughts of Tinga, learning about Ben's death, deciding to go back to Max…finding her in Seattle, and   
helping her through the rough couple of days after her blowout with Logan. Making love to her one night,   
only forty-eight hours later, while they were both too caught up in emotion and each other to think any   
better. Waking up the morning after to realize that she had left him.  
  
Zack had been sitting at this same stoplight for ten minutes now, watching it change, and it hadn't even   
occurred to him that he ought to move.  
  
"Fine," Zack growled now, replying at last. He was angry at himself for the uncharacteristic lapse in   
attention.  
  
"You know how to get to the nearest truck stop?"  
  
A half-hour later, Zack had reached his destination. A few moments after that, Max had collapsed into his   
arms.  
  
Zack carried her back into the room, nudging the door closed behind them with his foot. He was always   
one to remain calm in the most unnerving situation, but now he felt his heartbeat accelerate. He gently laid   
Max down on the room's only bed, and realized that he was sweating.  
  
"Max? Maxie?"  
  
He knelt at her side, studying her drawn features. She looked as pale as a ghost, and there were dark circles   
under her eyes.  
  
Zack feared that he'd been right. Something was definitely wrong with Max.  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
pari106@hotmail.com  
http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html  
  
Rating and Disclaimer found in chapter 1.  
  
  
A/N: Okay...I was waiting for the reviews to hit 45 before I posted again, but all those e-mails started to hurt my heart. :) [Begs forgiveness in the conspicuous absence of any promises to change.] Meg, here it is ; so now you can put your characters away (don't let "creepy guy" run too far, though. The creepy ones are always fun ;)  
  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Max had an odd feeling of déjà vu as she woke, later that evening. Again, she way lying on a strange bed   
in a motel room. Only now she was alone.  
  
Max's eyes fluttered open slowly. She'd found that she slept more and more often lately, and she awoke   
with more and more difficulty each time.  
  
Max sat up, still unaccustomed to the grogginess and dizzy disorientation that assaulted her as she did.   
Then she frowned. If Tinga and Jace had gone through this, too, it was a wonder the nation had survived.   
Max had only been suffering the nausea for a few weeks now, and already she'd become moody and   
sensitive because of it.  
  
Then Max's eyes widened, and her frown twisted into a grimace.  
  
It didn't look like her condition would be improving any time soon, either.  
  
Max clutched her stomach, and rushed to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before her breakfast   
came back to haunt her.  
  
If she ever returned to Gillette…Manticore was gonna answer for this shit. Big time.  
  
As soon as Max finished, she hobbled over to her pack on unsteady legs, and fished out a toothbrush and   
paste. She couldn't help it. She'd probably brushed her teeth so often in the last forty-either hours that you   
could shoot hoops through the holes in her tooth enamel. But she had to eliminate every trace of her   
illness, as soon as it appeared. Besides the seizures, she'd never been sick before. And she'd learned that   
the experience was decidedly unpleasant.  
  
So Max brushed vigorously. Sometimes retching and brushing, alternately.  
  
That's how Zack found her. It wasn't how Max would have preferred, of course. But she had little say in   
the matter. She glimpsed him in the mirror above the sink, and had hardly spoken his name before she was   
sick again.  
  
"Zack, I…"  
  
Max wasn't sure what sensation filled her the most – embarrassment or anger. She was just so damned   
tired of this. Of the sickness and the exhaustion and the uncertainty. It was hard. It was all worth it, of   
course, Max reminded herself, her hand unconsciously rubbing her still slender stomach. But it was hard.  
  
Max meant to apologize as soon as she could, but again Zack surprised her. Instead of turning away when   
he'd realized she was sick, he rushed to her side.  
  
When Max tried to speak he shook his head.  
  
"Shh. It's okay, Maxie. I'm here. It's alright." He pulled her hair back away from her face, and wiped her   
brow. He was being so uncharacteristically tender, it brought tears to Max's eyes. That, more than the pain   
of separation, the fear of uncertainty concerning her future, broke through Max's calm façade. As soon as   
the nausea subsided, the overwhelming urge to weep took its place.  
  
"Zack…"  
  
Max burst into tears. 'Goddamn hormones,' she silently cursed.  
  
Zack, for all the effort he'd been putting into being supportive, was still not good with tears. His eyes   
widened. If Max had been paying attention, she would have sworn he squeaked.  
  
"Uh…"  
  
He was at a loss as to what to do. But since Max was still clinging to him, standing on unsteady legs, he   
figured he had to do something.  
  
"It's okay, Max. Just…"  
  
Zack grabbed a towel, and Max, and carried her back to bed. After laying her down gently, he used the   
towel to wipe at her damp forehead and mouth.  
  
He was frightened. He would admit it. As Max so often did, she'd totally overturned all his cool reserve.   
He was never frightened, but he was frightened for her now. He'd never seen Max sick before. She'd   
never been sick. Besides the seizures, she was never like this. Zack felt an odd sting at the back of his   
eyes.  
  
What was he going to do? Should he call Logan? Where the hell did that guy get off, telling him Max was   
alright? She was sick – didn't he see that?  
  
Max was starting to calm down.  
  
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" She was trying to recover herself.  
  
"Shh."   
  
But Max refused to be "shushed".   
  
"I want to go with you, Zack," she told him. "I want to leave. Today. Wherever you want to go. I'll leave   
Seattle, just like you wanted."  
  
Zack stilled, just staring at her. Those were the words. The words he'd been waiting to hear for more than   
a year. His eyes fluttered closed then open again. It was ironic that she would say them now, when he had   
been planning, for some time, to tell her that he meant to come to Seattle. For good. Just like she wanted.   
It was ironic that she would say those words now…because now he couldn't accept them. He couldn't take   
Max anywhere. Not like this. She needed a doctor. She needed the kind of help he couldn't give her. It   
killed him to admit it, but she needed Logan. Why the other man had sent her to him was a mystery.  
  
"Max…"  
  
"I'm ready to leave, Zack. I shouldn't have stayed all this time."  
  
Zack brushed a strand of hair out of her face. He wished that wasn't just her sickness speaking.  
  
"You aren't going anywhere, Max," he told her, trying to be gentle but firm. "You're sick…"  
  
But Max just shook her head. She got the oddest look on her face.  
  
Max was nervous. This was it. This was the moment of truth.  
  
"I'm not sick," she told Zack. Zack shook his head, but Max insisted. "I'm not sick."  
  
"Max, you just got through puking up a lung, alright? You're as pale as a ghost. You're sick, and we have   
to get you to a doctor."  
  
"I've already seen a doctor."  
  
That put chills down Zack's spine. Was it that bad? But then Max saw the look on Zack's face, and   
realized what he was thinking.  
  
"I'm fine, Zack," she clarified. She tried a weak smile. "This is normal."  
  
Zack snorted. "Normal. Normal for what?"  
  
Max looked him straight in the eyes. "For a pregnant woman," she told him quietly.  
  
"For…"  
  
Zack's words died on his lips. He suddenly heard what she'd said.  
  
'For a…'  
  
Max swallowed, her eyes shining once again.  
  
"I'm pregnant, Zack."  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
In the life of a Manticore lab experiment, there are many moments when awkward confessions arise. Max   
could remember a dozen such moments; a dozen such conversations. She imagined there was a lot she   
could confess that would really take some explaining.  
  
"Why don't I sleep? Uh…well…"  
  
"Did I hurt you? Oh, yeah, sorry about that. You see, I get these cycles…"  
  
"Hello, I'm a genetically engineered super soldier who's been on the run for ten years. And how are you   
today?"  
  
But the most awkward confession, Max had learned, that any woman ever had to make, was that she was   
pregnant when, really, the last thing in the world anyone would have expected at that moment is for her to   
be pregnant.   
  
She'd had to make that confession three times now.  
  
The first had been to Cindy.  
  
  
  
Around a month ago…  
  
She was pregnant.  
  
The realization suddenly hit her. Hit her so hard, she dropped the store-bought pregnancy test on the floor,   
and sank into a sitting position in her and Cindy's tiny little bathroom.  
  
She was pregnant.  
  
It had taken her sixteen of those little tests to figure it out. They couldn't all be defective. She couldn't   
keep going on denying it any longer. She was pregnant.  
  
By Zack.  
  
She was pregnant with Zack's baby.  
  
"Oh, God…"  
  
Max clutched her head in her hands and stared at the two little, life-altering pink lines staring, mockingly,   
up at her from the plastic tester.  
  
'…pregnant…pregnant…'  
  
She'd known it, but she'd been afraid to admit it.  
  
After she'd left the motel that morning she'd just driven. Driven as far and as fast as she could. She   
couldn't even remember where she went. She'd just wanted to get away from everything and everyone – to   
contemplate what had happened between her and her brother. 'Her brother.' It felt strange to call him that   
after having spent the night with him. But, somehow, the term still fit. They weren't brother and sister like   
normal people – they never had been. She'd had that confused before, when her feelings for Zack had first   
become known to her and had discomforted her. She'd agonized over how she could feel for Zack the way   
she did. But she'd gotten over that agony. There was nothing wrong with her loving Zack. Not when love   
was such a precious commodity to someone like her and her brother. There was certainly nothing wrong   
about it when she was with him. Everything felt right when Zack was with her. Despite the fact that they'd   
grown up as brother and sister. Despite the fact that he was her brother still. He just wasn't a brother to her   
in the way other people were to their siblings. So it wasn't that she'd wanted to get away from Zack, or   
what they'd done. She'd just wanted to get away. To think.  
  
She'd realized before that she loved Zack. That she needed him. That she wanted him. But having   
actually acted on those feelings had surprised and frightened her.  
  
It was only after a whole day of trying to come to terms with that act, that Max realized she'd made a   
horrible mistake.  
  
Because, chances were, that Zack had been every bit as shocked and frightened as she was, though he   
would be too tough to admit it. Perhaps even more so. Max knew Zack loved her, but he'd never seemed   
comfortable with those emotions. And she'd never told him how she felt till last night. How could he know that she really  
loved him just the same? How was he to know why she left, or what that meant?  
  
When Max had realized what she'd done, it had been with horror.  
  
She'd raced back to the motel, but, of course, he'd been long gone. She'd searched all of Seattle. It had   
taken her days, and her friends had worried about her, they said when she came back. Logan had worried   
about her. She'd avoided him for days after their blowout, when she'd spent her time with Zack. She   
hadn't called him once during the time she spent searching for her brother. She just wasn't ready for that.   
Besides, if Logan took offense to what she'd done at Manticore, ten years ago, how would he feel about   
what she'd done just the other night? With her own brother? There was no way he'd make the sort of   
distinction between blood siblings and Manticore siblings as she, and most likely the other X5s, as well.  
  
So she'd searched for days, alone. She hadn't slept. She'd finally crawled back to her apartment, weary   
and red-eyed. And despite her friends' inquisitions she hadn't told them where she'd been or why. She'd   
just spent the next week or so moping through work, or locked in her apartment, crying herself to sleep.  
  
That should have been her first sign. Max had always accepted her emotions more readily than Zack. But   
she'd never been as emotional as she suddenly was, heartache or no heartache. Still, human pregnancies   
usually didn't start showing themselves, behaviorally, that early on. And Max had known nothing about   
X5 pregnancies to realize that they were different.  
  
Eventually, however, she did come to terms with the situation. She realized that, yes, she'd made a   
mistake, but, no, it was not the end of the world. She had to move on. She was going to go on, either way,   
so she might as well accept it. And Zack would be back. She had to believe that. Eventually he'd be back.   
He wouldn't just abandon one of his own, no matter how personal the reasons. And the prospect seemed   
daunting to her, but Max told herself she would learn, when he did come back, how to explain to him how   
she really felt. Why she'd left.  
  
She would get Zack back. She promised herself.  
  
She finally called Logan back. They finally began talking again; working together again, eating together   
again. There was something missing there, that hadn't been before. Something Logan was constantly   
trying to rebuild. But Max knew it would be slow going and that whatever had been developing between   
them before might never be again. She was in love with Zack now. She'd realized it before, but now, after   
having been with him, she'd become resolved to it. And the issue with the pictures wasn't about forgiving.   
In a way, she'd decided there was nothing for her to forgive. Logan was a good man. He'd been more   
understanding to her and her siblings than any other human she'd ever met. But he was human, after all.   
He wasn't one of her kind. He couldn't be expected to just automatically accept everything about her.   
There was nothing wrong with that, Max knew. But it wasn't about wrong or right; forgiving or forgetting.   
It was about what she needed, what he needed and what Zack needed. She needed automatic acceptance.   
Perhaps because she'd lived her entire life struggling so hard to be accepted. Logan needed someone he   
could accept. And Zack needed her. It was that simple.  
  
That was where she was when the nausea began. She was moving on, missing Zack but hoping for a   
chance to be with him again. One day. She was rebuilding a friendship with Logan. And Original Cindy   
and the Jam Pony gang were no longer giving her looks like they feared for her life.  
  
It wasn't as bad, at first. But it was bad enough to catch her attention. Max never had nausea, but suddenly   
she was nauseous. She didn't have the same sort of menstrual cycles as normal human females, so she   
hadn't had that to tell her something was…different. But the nausea did that, anyhow. Just as a dozen   
other things should have. She'd been born and trained a soldier, after all. Conditioned for complete   
awareness of herself and her surroundings at all times. She should have known something was "different"   
a month before. But, like she imagined Jace had been when she'd found out that she was pregnant, Max   
hadn't wanted to be aware of herself. So she hadn't been. Until the nausea forced her to become aware.  
  
That's when she'd bought herself the first pregnancy test.  
  
Then she'd bought another.  
  
And, now, fourteen more tests, and twenty-eight more little pink lines later, realization had suddenly hit.   
Awareness had come.  
  
She was pregnant.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
The first thing she had to do, Max knew, was see a doctor. This, however, was easier said than done.   
There weren't many transgenic obstetrics available in Seattle. So she'd have to rely on Logan to find her   
someone trustworthy.  
  
That prospect scared the hell out of Max, and it made her nervous. She'd nearly cried when she first   
thought about it.  
  
Telling Logan was going to be awful. She'd never even told him about what had happened with Zack.   
Partly because she didn't want to see that look in his eyes again, that look she'd seen when he'd glanced at   
the pictures that had started it all. She didn't want to see his disappointment or disgust. And, partly, she   
hadn't told him because she hadn't wanted to hurt him. She knew how he felt about Zack. And she knew   
he still harbored some hope of their being together. Maybe it was a spiteful thought, but she thought maybe   
he wanted them to be together so badly, only because it now seemed so unlikely that they would be.  
  
Regardless, the thought of telling him, of hurting him, killed Max. And she was so afraid he'd just turn her   
away. What would she do then? She had no idea how to get a hold of Zack. Eyes Only could probably do   
that, but without him, Max didn't stand a chance. Without Logan Max couldn't find a doctor. She knew it   
was cruel to have to ask him – considering that it was another man's baby she was carrying. But it was   
true. She needed Logan. And if he turned her away now she didn't know how she and the baby would   
make it.  
  
And Logan wasn't the only person she had to tell. What about Zack?  
  
Max didn't even want to think about that yet. She had so much else to worry about first. Zack made her   
even more nervous than Logan. What if what happened between them, a month ago, had changed how he   
felt about her? And even if it hadn't, Zack had never showed any inclination towards having a family. She   
wasn't even sure he wanted a real relationship, much less the kind that included children. Max decided she   
just wouldn't think about it. She'd consider that later.  
  
It never even occurred to Max that there might be an alternative to having the baby. To Max, there was no   
alternative. If she aborted the baby she'd be no better than Manticore – treating life like their own personal   
plaything. Treating children like lab rats. She and the other X5s had risked too much in the name of family   
and freedom for her to deny a part of her family now; to deny her baby. To deny it the freedom to live.  
  
Max had just found out about the baby. She couldn't get rid of it, she couldn't bring herself to tell Logan   
yet, and she couldn't even think about telling Zack without panicking. Luckily, there was someone else she   
could tell. Someone who'd promised to be her boo for life. Someone who'd always had her back. Would   
she have her baby's, as well?  
  
Max had to tell Original Cindy.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Max couldn't decide upon which strategy she would use to tell her friend about the baby. Bait and switch?  
  
"Hey, Cindy, guess what."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I've got progeria and I'm dying."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Ha! Got you! No, I'm just pregnant. Had you worried there for a moment, huh?"  
  
No. That wouldn't be nice. Surprise attack?  
  
"Hey, boo, I'm headin' down to Crash. Wanna…"  
  
"I'm pregnant."  
  
"What? What are you…"  
  
"Yeah. About a month along. You okay with that?"  
  
"What? Wait a …"  
  
"Great. I knew I could count on you, boo."  
  
Uh…maybe not. Hell, this was Original Cindy. Why couldn't she just come out and say it? If her girl   
could step up to the real about her being Manticore, then she could handle the news about one little baby.   
Right?  
  
It was raining the day Max decided to tell her. The windows were streaked with it. Both she and Original   
had gotten the day off. They were just vegging out because there wasn't anything else to do. Some fool   
had hit an electrical pole near Crash, and the pole had come down on the bar's roof, causing considerable   
damage. So Crash was closed for a few days while repairs were preformed. Which was just about as well   
for Max. She had her baby to look out for now, after all. Hers and Zack's. It felt good to say that; warm.   
Even though she was still really worried about the situation and uncertain about how everyone was going to   
react to it. Regardless, the baby was hers and Zack's, and she loved it. She loved thinking about it. And   
she couldn't be getting her drink on now, could she? It wasn't good for human mothers, and she had to   
assume the same about herself.   
  
Original Cindy, however, unaware of Max's condition, and bored out of her mind, was not happy with the   
lazy demise of her evening.  
  
"You know, this just would happen on my only day off. It's rainin' like a bitch out there, and I'm stuck in   
here just 'cause some fool didn't know how to hold his liquor."  
  
Max jus kind of shrugged.  
  
"I don't know. I didn't really feel like going out, anyway."  
  
Original Cindy gave her a look.  
  
"Why, 'cause kicking it here's just da bomb, right?" But then her expression became concerned. Max had   
been so different lately. So moody and sensitive. Now she was sitting there on their couch, curled up   
around a pillow. She really didn't look like she wanted to go out. She looked like she wanted to be sick.   
She was practically wringing the stuffing out of that pillow.  
  
Cindy sighed, sitting down by her friend.  
  
"Okay, spit it."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't be playin' no games, sugga. You've obviously got somethin' on your conscience. And Original   
Cindy got nothin' but time. So tell me what's got my boo lookin' so bothered before my gramma's pillow   
suffers the same fate as that one."  
  
Max blinked. Then she looked down at the pillow in her hands. Two of its seams had busted.  
  
"Oh!"  
  
Max threw it aside. And Cindy grabbed her aforementioned grandmother's throw pillow, and removed it   
from Max's reach with a raised brow.  
  
Max sighed. "Okay, I got something on my conscience."  
  
Cindy waited. Then, to her surprise, Max's eyes filled with tears.  
  
"Oh, God…"  
  
Cindy's eyes widened. Oh, shit, her boo was crying. This really was some serious shit.  
  
"Hey. Hey, boo, don't do that." She pulled Max into her arms, really worried now. Her boredom had been   
completely forgotten. If someone had harmed her homegirl…  
  
Max was mumbling something against her shoulder.  
  
Cindy stilled.  
  
She hadn't heard her exactly, but what she had heard couldn't have been right.  
  
"Wha'd you say?" she asked.  
  
Max pulled back, trying to catch her breath. When she calmed a little, she wiped the tears from her eyes.   
Then she steeled herself and met Original's gaze again.  
  
"I said…I'm pregnant."  
  
Original blinked.  
  
"You're pregnant."  
  
Max is pregnant. Max is *pregnant*.  
  
Max nodded. Then it suddenly hit her.  
  
"You're pregnant!"  
  
A huge grin started to spread over her face. Max kind of laughed.  
  
"Yeah. I'm pregnant."  
  
She should have known Cindy would get excited. She was the type to zero in on the positive in a situation   
because she, better than most people, realized this was a large life. No use stressin' over it.  
  
Then Original sobered, as other aspects of the situation occurred to her.  
  
"Wait a minute, is that why you and Logan been so…weird around each other lately?"  
  
Max shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She hadn't told Original about Zack either. She'd told her friend   
about her feelings for him – had tried to explain them. But she hadn't said anything about their making   
love. She knew Cindy didn't approve of Zack. She'd support Max in anything, even in her feelings for her   
brother. But she didn't have to like it. However, Max figured that, if she was going to tell Original about   
the baby, she'd have to tell her about Zack, as well. And there was no time like the present when she still   
had her nerve.  
  
"Uh…no. That's not why. It's why I've been avoiding his calls the last couple of days."  
  
Cindy frowned, then sighed again. "Boo, if you two been kickin' it, and now you're worried loverboy   
won't like the consequence, know what I mean? Don't. He helped do this, he'll help deal with it. Besides,   
this is Logan. How do you know he won't be thrilled to have a little transgenic rug rat messin' up that   
penthouse of his?"  
  
Max looked away, then back.  
  
"Cindy…it's not Logan's."  
  
That really did surprise her.  
  
"What happened between Logan and me…it wasn't like that. We weren't fighting about that. And we   
haven't been "kicking' it". We're not like that."  
  
Cindy didn't know what to say to that at first. But she couldn't make her usual argument against the   
comment. If Max was pregnant by somebody else maybe they really weren't "like that".  
  
"Then whose is it? Somebody you ain't told me about?"  
  
"I told you about him." Max cringed at the exaggeration. "Sort of."  
  
Cindy didn't like the implications behind that. "What do you mean… "sort of"?" she asked carefully.  
  
Max looked at her. Finally, she just said a name.  
  
"Zack."  
  
Silence ensued. After which, Cindy slowly began to shake her head. She felt a stinging at the back of her   
eyes. This was a whole different consequence than the kind she'd expected from Max and Logan getting   
together.  
  
"Girl…"  
  
Max shot to her feet.  
  
"Look, I know, alright? I know what you think of Zack. You know how I feel about him. You don't know   
him like I do, I told you that. But that's besides the point. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that something   
happened between us, but it did." Max sat back down again, suddenly feeling deflated. "And now I'm   
pregnant," she repeated softly.  
  
Cindy let her words sink in. Yeah, she knew how Max felt about her big brother, as whacked as that term   
sounded considering the situation. She knew it and she didn't like it, but she also knew that the last thing   
Max needed right now was her reminding her. Still, she couldn't just let her girl walk into this thing   
thinking everything was gonna turn out all peachy and rosy. This was Zack they were talking about. One   
of the more intimidating members of the three-legged gender. Definitely not the type Original saw   
changing diapers and warming bottles. There were some serious, cold, hard facts to consider about this   
situation.  
  
"Max…" Cindy put a hand on her friend's knee. "I told you Zack weren't nothin' but trouble."  
  
That didn't quite come out like she'd meant it, and Cindy grimaced as Max glared.  
  
"He didn't mean to knock me up," she snapped.  
  
Cindy tried to neutralize her voice. Keep things smooth this time.  
  
"I know," she conceded. 'I just bet he didn't,' was what she was thinking. Max had told her Zack loved   
her. Cindy didn't want to deny that. Who couldn't love Max? But from what she'd seen of "Sam", or   
Zack, or whatever the hell he called himself, he didn't look like the lovin' type. Unless it was lovin' and   
leavin' he was up to. And that seemed to Cindy to be exactly what they were looking at here.  
  
"I know he didn't mean to, Max. But he did. What I want to know is how you gonna deal with that?"  
  
Max shifted in her seat again. "I don't know."  
  
"You don't know."  
  
"I need to think about it!"  
  
Cindy just looked at her. She squeezed Max's knee. "You don't think soldierboy is gonna want to play   
"daddy", do you?"  
  
Max frowned at the nickname Cindy had given her lover, but she didn't say anything. That's exactly what   
she was thinking.  
  
Finally, Cindy sighed. She pulled Max back into a hug.  
  
"I don't know what you want me to say," she finally admitted, emotionally.  
  
Max just clung to her. She felt like crying again.  
  
"I just want to know you've got my back," she told her.  
  
Cindy felt one of her own tears slip down her cheek. Did Max even have to ask?  
  
"Of course, I've got your back, boo. I'm ready for "Auntie Original" any time you are."  
  
Despite the situation, Max laughed.  
  
" 'Auntie Original'? Lord help us all," she drolled.  
  
Cindy laughed, too.  
  
They were quiet a minute.  
  
"I just need someone to be there. Till I figure out how to tell Zack," Max said then.  
  
Cindy had to keep herself from stiffening. Personally, she didn't think telling Zack was a very good idea,   
even though she'd usually insist a daddy has the right to know he's a daddy. She hated to admit, but she   
was afraid of Zack. And she feared for Max and the baby if he decided he didn't want to be a daddy. And   
if he decided to do something about it. It was a terrible thought, and Max would be pissed off if she knew   
Cindy had had it. But Cindy couldn't help it. Max was right. She didn't know Zack. She just hoped she   
was wrong about what she thought she did know.  
  
"So what're you gonna do now?" she asked.  
  
Max sighed. "Now I've gotta tell Logan."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
Disclaimer and rating in Chapter 1.  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
Not quite a month ago…  
  
  
  
It was even worse than she'd feared.  
  
Max had arrived at Logan's unexpectedly, hoping to pop the news and get out of there for a while so he   
could absorb it. But when she'd shown up, Logan had already been preparing dinner and she'd been   
unable to convince him that she couldn't stay. Her heart just wasn't in it. Right now, she'd fight the Reds   
again if he told her that was what he wanted. She was just so afraid he'd turn her away after she told him   
her secret. She'd do anything to make him happy.  
  
So Max sat at the table, chewing her lip and trying to be inconspicuous about not drinking the wine Logan   
had poured for her. She was trying so hard to keep her foot from tapping. She tapped her feet a lot when   
she was nervous. And she almost succeeded, too, until they were about halfway through dinner.  
  
Logan knew something was wrong. Max was hardly speaking, and though she seemed to have a healthy   
appetite she hadn't even touched her wine. And she was nervous. He knew her well enough to know the   
signs: tapping foot? Chewing lip? Oh, yeah, she was nervous. She was adorable when she was nervous.   
Well…she was always adorable. But she was particularly cute when she looked all vulnerable and human.   
He just wished she didn't seem so shook up. Something obviously had her worried because she had this   
look in her eyes like a deer trapped in the headlights.  
  
Finally, he couldn't take any more.  
  
"Max."  
  
Max was absorbed in her pasta and her foot-tapping, and in her thoughts, so she didn't hear him right away.  
  
"Max," he repeated, louder. Max's head shot up in surprise.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Logan sighed. He glanced down at their half-eaten dinner and shrugged. He could warm it up later.  
  
"Come here," is all he told her. Then he wheeled away from the table towards the living room. Max sat   
there a moment, taking deep breaths. This was it.  
  
Then she followed him.  
  
  
  
Logan had moved out of his chair and onto the couch and Max sat down beside him. But not too close   
beside him. Logan noticed this with regret in his eyes, but he wasn't about to let her off that easy. He slid   
over closer to her and took her hand in his.  
  
Max swallowed. Hard.  
  
"Max…"  
  
Logan collected his thoughts. This was hard. This distance that had grown between them was so difficult.   
He'd never even realized how important, really important, their closeness had been to him until it was   
gone. He'd give anything if he could go back and get rid of those pictures before he ever even looked at   
them. He'd give anything to make the distance disappear again. He wanted Max to know that.  
  
"I think I know what's wrong," he told her, seeing her kind of jolt in surprise.  
  
"You do?"  
  
Logan nodded, looking into Max's eyes. She looked back. God, but she was gorgeous.  
  
He had no idea what it was that was bothering her. But he thought he knew why she wouldn't tell him.  
  
"I know there's something bothering you. And I know you don't want to tell me. You're still afraid to   
trust me." It hurt to say those words, but they were true. Max opened her mouth to object.  
  
"No. Logan, I…"  
  
He held up a hand. "It's okay. I know that after what I did…" Logan's words trailed off. He wouldn't say   
he was sorry again. The last time they'd had this conversation Max had become furious when he'd   
apologized once more. She claimed he had nothing to apologize for and that she was over the pictures.   
But she obviously wasn't if she was still afraid to talk to him now. After all this time. Still, he wouldn't   
apologize again. Max knew how sorry he was for what she'd gone through when she'd found those   
pictures.  
  
"I know that after what I did I need to win your trust back." He squeezed her hand. "And I will, Max.   
You can trust me. Don't you know that? Don't you know how much I care about you? How much I…"   
Logan' tone became pleading, and then his voice just suddenly disappeared as he realized what he'd been   
about to say.  
  
He looked at Max. Her eyes were wide.  
  
"Logan?"  
  
Did she have any idea what he'd been about to say? Hell, she'd probably figured it out a long time ago.   
What good would it be to hide now? What had hiding ever gotten him with Max except for more trouble?   
Logan swallowed and took a shaky breath.  
  
"Max, I…"  
  
Max jumped so quickly it startled both of them.  
  
'No!' No, he couldn't say that. He couldn't say that!  
  
"Don't say it!" she suddenly exclaimed. She realized she probably sounded crazy, but she didn't care. He   
couldn't say it. He couldn't! How could she tell him after he said it? How could she tell him now,   
knowing he'd been about to say it?  
  
Logan's expression turned to one of confusion.  
  
"Max?"  
  
Max scooted back on the couch.  
  
"Just don't say it," she pleaded.  
  
Logan shook his head. He had no idea what had gotten her so upset. Was she afraid to hear the words   
from him? His feelings wouldn't be any less real if they were left unspoken of.  
  
"Max, I just wanted to tell you that I…"  
  
Max shot to her feet.  
  
"No!"  
  
She sounded so desperate; so afraid. Logan frowned. He hadn't wanted to frighten her. Or to make her   
feel trapped. But he couldn't help the hurt he felt that she had to reject his admission so avidly; or the   
anger.  
  
"What the hell…"  
  
"I'm pregnant."  
  
Her words froze Logan's own question on his tongue. It froze the both of them in their places. It froze   
time, briefly. During which only the sound of two hearts beating, and Logan imagined one breaking, could   
be heard.  
  
"What?"  
  
The question was low. Max's eyes filled with tears.  
  
Oh, God, she'd done it. She'd told him. And it was even worse then she'd imagined.  
  
"Logan…"  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
He just stared at her. In a way, Max didn't want to look at him because she didn't want to see the hurt in   
his eyes. She didn't want to see the disappointment and the anger, and maybe the disgust, that would come   
when she told him who the baby's father was. But she couldn't look away. She sank back down on the   
couch. This time, when she put distance between herself and Logan, he let her.  
  
There was silence for a moment.  
  
Then Logan repeated, louder. Angrier. "What did you say?" he demanded.  
  
Max let out a shaky breath.  
  
"I'm pregnant," she quietly repeated.  
  
If Logan hadn't known he was sitting down he would have sworn he was falling. He felt her words that   
sharply – as though they were a toppling blow. He'd heard her right. She was pregnant.  
  
She was pregnant.  
  
Logan sank his head into his hands.  
  
That was all Max could take. She burst into tears. But Logan didn't move when he heard her. Or maybe   
he didn't hear her. His mind was reeling.  
  
"Logan…"  
  
She wanted so badly to reach out to him, but she didn't dare.  
  
"I'm sorry, Logan. I'm so sorry. This isn't about the pictures, you know that. I told you I'm past that shit.   
This is about me. I just didn't…I don't…"  
  
Max's words trailed off. What was she trying to do? She'd just told him that she was going to have   
another man's baby. Wasn't that declaration enough that she didn't want a relationship – that type of   
relationship – with him? Why was she trying to spell it out?  
  
She was babbling, Max realized. She was scared to death and she was babbling. And she was still crying.  
  
"Who's the father?"  
  
Logan spoke the words so softly Max wouldn't have heard them if it weren't for her advanced hearing. He   
didn't even lift his head or turn to look at her. Max felt herself pale.  
  
When she didn't answer Logan finally lifted his head, but he didn't look at her. Max was glad. She had the   
harrowing suspicion that those were tears she saw shining in his eyes.  
  
"Who's the father?" Logan repeated.  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
Max didn't mean for that to sound as it did, but regardless, Logan's face whipped around. His eyes met   
hers and they weren't like before. Now they were hard and angry. The blue of his irises darkened until   
they were almost black.  
  
"Does it matter?" he repeated slowly, as if trying to understand.  
  
"Logan…"  
  
"Does it matter?" he repeated yet again, incredulously. His voice continued to rise. "I would say it does   
matter, Max, since there's a man out there who's about to become a father. You are keeping the baby,   
aren't you?" he asked, as though just thinking of this. Concern suddenly snaking through his anger.  
  
Max knew it was a valid question, but she bristled at the accusation anyhow. "Yes!"  
  
This seemed to pacify Logan. Just a little. At least that was one thing he didn't have to worry about.   
"You're going to tell the father." He said that as a statement, not a question. Again, Max understood his   
concern but she bristled at the order. This wasn't his baby. She wasn't his to order around as he chose.   
But this was hardly the situation to argue. Of course, she'd been planning to tell Zack.  
  
"Yes, I'm going to tell the father," she said.  
  
"Who is he, Max?"  
  
"Logan…" Max's features just crumbled. It wasn't right. It wasn't right that anything had to be this hard.  
  
"Who is he?" Logan repeated.  
  
Max gathered her strength. Just as Logan was about to ask again, she spoke. She looked him in the eyes   
and spoke.  
  
"Zack," she told him quietly.  
  
Silence.  
  
Logan just stared at her, wondering if he heard correctly.  
  
"What about him?" is all he could say.  
  
He watched a single tear trail slowly down Max's cheek, as if in slow motion. He could feel his stomach   
drop with it. His hopes and dreams for their future…they all descended into nothingness alongside that   
tear.  
  
"Zack," Max repeated. Then, after a moment more, she clarified with a shaky breath: "Logan, Zack is the   
baby's father."  
  
'Zack is…'  
  
Logan would have gladly faced Bruno Anselmo rather than have heard that statement. 'Zack is…' Zack   
was the father of Max's baby. Max was having Zack's baby. Max and Zack…  
  
It was Logan's worst nightmare come true.  
  
"You can't be serious," he whispered.  
  
Max's silence, and her tears, spoke for themselves.  
  
There wasn't anything else Logan could say, except: "Get out."  
  
Max looked up at him quickly.  
  
"Logan, please, I…"  
  
"I…said…get….OUT!" Logan spoke slowly, clearly, and by the end he was nearly shouting. But he   
would not lose control, he promised himself. He would not lose control…  
  
Even with Logan nearly shouting at her, Max couldn't make herself move.  
  
Then he turned to her again, eyes even harder, voice even harsher.  
  
"Go!" he yelled.  
  
So Max went, beginning to weep as she rushed out the door.  
  
Once she was gone, Logan's resolve crumbled as his own tears began to come. He was left alone in his   
penthouse, with only the sound of his own, ragged breathing as company. And only three little words, the   
three little words he'd been about to tell Max only moments earlier, to speak to his empty home.  
  
"I love you," he whispered, through his tears.  



	6. Chapter 6

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
pari106@hotmail.com  
http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html  
  
Disclaimer and rating found in chapter 1.  
  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Max came out of her thoughts. Mere moments had passed since she'd told Zack her secret, but in her mind   
she'd relived those moments of discovery in the bathroom, those angsty conversations with Original and   
Logan, all over again. In her mind she'd told them about the baby once more, and now she'd told Zack, as   
well. All that remained was to see how Zack responded.  
  
Zack stared at her with a look of…well. It wasn't really any kind of look. He just wore a blank expression.   
If anything, it was a look of expectation. Like he was waiting for her words to sink in, or for a clarification   
to come, but none did. And then, when her words had finally hit him, his face filled with something else.  
  
Max felt her heart sink.  
  
Zack's face filled with pain. That was the look that overcame him. Great pain and loss and sorrow. Max   
was confused by that, but then even those emotions became eclipsed by another. Anger. Fury, even. And   
disappointment. Those emotions, coming from Zack, Max understood. And she hadn't known what she'd   
expected Zack to feel when he learned he was a father. But she was sure it was something along the lines   
of what Cindy had mentioned. She had expected…well, maybe not expected. But she'd hoped that, if not   
happy about the situation, that he'd at least be accepting. Now she felt those hopes die.  
  
"Zack…"  
  
Still, Zack just sat there, staring at her. It was beginning to frighten her. He wasn't moving; he might not   
even be breathing. He just sat and stared. Max's eyes filled, once more, with tears.  
  
"Zack…say something," she pleaded.  
  
Zack just sat there a moment more. Then he shot to his feet as though shoved.  
  
"Gotta go out," is all he said. He was out of the room before Max could respond.  
  
And he slammed the door behind him with such force, a small piece of the frame splintered and fell to the   
floor.  



	7. Chapter 7

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
pari106@hotmail.com  
http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html  
  
Disclaimer and rating found in chapter 1.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
"I'm pregnant, Zack."  
  
'…pregnant…'  
  
"This is normal."  
  
"Normal? Normal for what?"  
  
"For a pregnant woman."  
  
'Max is pregnant…'  
  
"I'm pregnant, Zack."  
  
Zack left the motel room and just started walking. Didn't know where he was walking – he was just   
walking. It was late and the night was still, but Zack didn't notice because he just heard Max's words   
repeating, over and over again, in his head.  
  
"I'm pregnant…"  
  
A baby. She was going to have a baby. Max was going to have a baby. Max was having someone's baby.  
  
Finally, Zack stopped. He found himself just on the edge of the motel's parking lot, standing in front of a   
tree.  
  
Max was having someone's baby. He'd spent the last two months agonizing over having left Seattle. Over   
having let his insecurities overcome his instinct and having left. He'd planned what he'd tell her, in his   
head, for two months. How he was going to tell her he would stay in Seattle with her; try things her way.   
How he was going to tell her, finally, that he loved her. And she was having someone's baby.  
  
Zack stared at that tree until he could almost feel his glare piercing into it. And when that didn't work, he   
put his fist right through the trunk. A shower of bark and splinters flew from the impact of his punch.   
Then he stalked back to his bike. He needed to get away. To think for a little while.  
  
Hell, who was he kidding? He needed to get away so he wouldn't have to think for a little while.  
  
He needed to focus on his anger. He needed to focus on the pain in his bloody fist. He needed to focus on   
anything but his tortured thoughts and his all too new emotions.  
  
He needed to focus on something other than the strange suspicion that he wanted to cry. Other than that time when he'd turned himself in to Lydecker, Zack had never   
shed a tear in his life. It was impossible that he would do so now.  
  
Even if Max was having someone else's baby. Even if he still loved her anyway.  



	8. Chapter 8

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
Disclaimer and rating found in chapter 1.  
  
Chapter 8  
  
After Zack left, Max wasn't sure what to do. She could cry again, she supposed. She could spend her   
entire pregnancy crying. But she was tired of it. She was tired of all the drama. She was tired of all the   
worry and anguish. She was just tired.  
  
And oddly numb, at the moment.  
  
It was a never a good sign when you told the man you loved that you were going to have a baby…and he   
stalked out looking ready to murder.  
  
Max sat up in bed, then pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and resting her   
chin on her knees.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Zack didn't drive around for very long. It wasn't his nature to run from a conflict, or even to procrastinate   
about one. And he wasn't exactly known for long periods of reflection. So as soon as he got himself back   
into control he returned to the motel. Max was pregnant. Regardless of how or why or who, that was a   
fact. A fact they had to deal with. They had a lot of things to consider. Like healthcare. How the hell   
were they going to get Max the kind of treatment she needed? Zack had absolutely no idea what to do with   
a pregnant woman. Or a pregnant X5. Would she even need healthcare? Would she need all that much   
more because of her genetic differences?  
  
And there was the security risk to consider. Zack had promised himself, since learning of Tinga's family,   
that he would take a more lenient perspective of his duties as CO. But he was still CO, regardless. If Max   
wasn't going to stay in Seattle for the duration of her pregnancy, then they'd have to be very careful about   
where they located her next. They had to be very careful about who they trusted. Blah blah, woof woof.  
  
Which brought them back to another subject. Why wasn't Max in Seattle? This wasn't a subject Zack   
liked to think about. It brought all those awkward, uncomfortable emotions of his right back to the fore.   
But he had to think about it. Why wasn't Max with Logan?  
  
After he'd left Seattle, Zack had wondered if Max would hook back up with him. After he'd gotten over   
his own issues, he'd felt guilty about the whole situation. Max had just had a very emotional blowout with   
Logan when she was with Zack. He should have been more understanding when she ran from him that   
morning after. He should have realized that she was in a bad place and had probably just needed some time   
to herself to think. But he hadn't realized this until Zane had beat it into him. He'd been so concerned with   
his own wounded pride and hurt feelings…certain that Max had used him to rebound from her spat with   
Logan…that he hadn't given himself time to consider any other alternative. Once he had, he'd felt like a   
heel. And he'd wondered what would happen between Max and Logan after he'd left. He'd wondered if   
they'd gotten back together. As friends or as anything more. He'd wondered if he could somehow make   
up for his mistakes and try to get Max back. That's when he'd decided he would stay in Seattle if that were   
what Max wanted.  
  
Now it was obvious Max had hooked back up with Logan. He'd been the one to contact Zack.  
  
As Zack pulled back into the motel parking lot, bringing his bike to a stop, his fists clenched on the   
handlebars. A fury of rage and pain and intense jealousy clouded his vision for a moment, eliciting a growl   
from deep within his throat. Nothing and no one brought out the animalistic part of Zack's DNA like   
Logan Cale. The man who'd almost taken Max from him. Who might very well have done so after Zack   
had left the last time.  
  
But Max wasn't with him now. Was it Logan's baby?  
  
The thought tore at Zack. He'd always prided himself in being a cold, efficient soldier, whether it was for   
Manticore or himself and his family. But the thought of Max and Logan…that hurt worse than any cold   
soldier would care to admit.  
  
However, Zack didn't know which thought might hurt the worst: the thought that the baby was   
Logan's…or that it wasn't. That it was someone else's. Some unknown Max had turned to, God only   
knew why. Perhaps because she felt rejected, first by Logan and then by him? Zack's stomach turned at   
the thought. If that were true he'd gladly turn himself over to the next Sector Patrol he saw, and end his   
miserable existence once and for all. If he'd caused one of his own, if he'd cause Max, harm by letting his   
emotions cloud his judgement…then he deserved whatever fate he got.  
  
But if it wasn't true…  
  
If the baby was Logan's…  
  
Zack climbed off his bike and headed for the motel room. Then, on second thought, he looped around   
once, giving himself just that much more time to think.  
  
If the baby was Logan's, then he had no idea what they were doing here. If Logan got Max pregnant, just   
to turn her and the kid out…  
  
Zack's fists flexed and his jaw clenched.  
  
Best not to think about that. Zack was not the kind of man who was safe with those kind of thoughts on his   
mind. He might do something…unpleasant…to the other man. And all he could think of was that they still   
needed Logan. As Eyes Only, he'd have a better shot at finding Max a doctor than Zack would. He hated   
to do it…relying on others went as much against Zack's own personal code of protocol as anything. But it   
was necessary. He couldn't take any chances with Max and the baby, any more than he could have made   
Tinga stay in Quebec when he knew how much she had in Portland to go back for.  
  
Finally, Zack steeled himself and headed back for Max's motel room.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Max knew Zack was back long before he quietly slipped back into the room. She'd heard his bike when   
he'd returned. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, with her back to the door, when he came in. And she   
didn't turn. She didn't really know what to say now.  
  
Zack crossed the room, without a word, and straddled a chair sitting next to the side of the bed where Max   
was sitting. For a moment he just sat there, and neither one of them looked at the other, nor spoke.  
  
Max wondered what he would say next. What he would ask. His initial reaction had been strong, but he   
must have been surprised when he'd heard the news. Unbidden, a new spark of hope began to burn within   
her. Maybe, with a little thought, Zack had decided the baby wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe there was   
still a chance he could grow into the idea. Would he even be interested in the little things? He knew the   
conception date, of course, since there had only been that one time between them. So he knew the due date   
if he'd taken the time to calculate it. Would he want to know about doctors and prenatals and fetal heart   
rate? Max waited, wondering.  
  
But Zack didn't ask any questions.  
  
"We have to get you back to Seattle," he said, finally.  
  
Max looked up at him in surprise.  
  
"Seattle?"  
  
Zack just nodded. He seemed so tense. That new hope began to fizzle out just like its predecessor. Max   
frowned.  
  
"Why?"  
  
That actually seemed to surprise Zack.  
  
"Why?" he repeated. "So we can get you a doctor. So…"  
  
"I've seen a doctor, remember?" Max insisted. This wasn't right. This just wasn't going right at all. All   
this time Zack had been asking her to leave Seattle, and now that she was doing as he said he was trying to   
send her back? Because of the baby? Because he couldn't handle it? Maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe   
Zack really would turn his back on one of his own, if the reason for doing so was personal enough. But   
he'd always been so loyal; so duty-oriented. Didn't he see this as his duty? Or was this just a mistake; a   
"moment of weakness", as he'd once said, long ago, when Max really hadn't believed that he'd meant it.  
  
She really didn't believe that Zack could be that callous. And he'd been pretty tough at times. But never   
so much that Max would believe he could dismiss his own child so easily. That he could dismiss her so   
easily. And after the last time he was in Seattle. After they'd been together…  
  
Zack's voice brought Max back to the present.  
  
"What did the doctor say?" he asked.   
  
Things were spiraling too quickly out of control for Max to be pleased that he was showing interest in the   
child, if even just a little. She was totally focused on one objective: keeping Zack from turning her away so   
quickly.  
  
"The doctor said I'm fine. Better than fine, despite the nausea. Not everyone has their babies under the   
constant supervision of some family phys. somewhere. Some people still want to keep their dealio to   
themselves. Have their babies at home. I don't even have to deliver in a hospital. I just have to show back   
up at the doctor's during my third trimester. Till then I've got all the prenatals I need. And the doc gave   
me the 411 on what's going down with this whacked up body of mine. I don't have to see the doctor again   
till then. I thought that would be best. Keep exposure to a minimum. This woman is one of Eyes Only's   
contacts. But still…"  
  
Max didn't have to finish that sentence. Yeah, the woman was an Eyes Only contact, but there was still   
that little risk that came with involving anyone else in their affairs. And, to be honest, if Max didn't have   
to see a doctor, then she didn't want to. The few examinations she'd had during the last couple of months   
had been awful. They'd just reminded her too much of her days back in testing at Manticore. Every time   
she got into a pair of stirrups she felt claustrophobic. And she'd hoped she could spend the time until her   
next checkup with Zack. Working out their problems and helping him accept the situation. Max was still   
determined that that would happen.   
  
"And what about Logan?" Zack asked. He had to practically force himself to say the words, but there they   
were.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"He knows, right? Why you went to see the doctor?"  
  
"Of course he knows. You don't go to just anybody when you're pregnant, Zack. You need someone in   
obstetrics."  
  
Zack frowned. He'd known that. But he just couldn't figure this thing out. Logan didn't seem like the   
type to disown his offspring. Zack hadn't really believed that the man would ever let Max walk away from   
him, much to less to let her walk away with their child. And now he was getting her a doctor and then just   
turning her loose?  
  
"And he's okay with you leaving?" Zack asked.  
  
Max shifted, uncomfortable. "Okay" was probably too strong a word. After Logan's initial reaction to   
learning about Max's pregnancy he'd done the unexpected, noble thing to do. He'd asked her to marry   
him. Can you imagine? Max hadn't known what to think about that. Except that it was the sweetest and   
most awful thing anyone had ever done for her. Of course, she couldn't accept his offer. Not when she   
hadn't even told Zack about the baby yet, or about her feelings. And not when she cared about Logan as   
she did, and wanted so much more for him than another marriage to someone who couldn't love him the   
way he deserved.  
  
"It wasn't his choice to make," Max finally said, aiming at nonchalance with a one-shouldered shrug.  
  
"Not his…"  
  
Zack pondered those words a moment. He was hardly the definitive source on proper etiquette. But he was   
pretty sure that most people considered it decidedly improper to skip town with someone's baby, claiming   
it wasn't that person's "choice to make." Then again…it was Max's baby, too. She was carrying it in her   
body. But still…  
  
"Don't you think he has the right to take some responsibility for this?" Zack asked.  
  
Didn't she think Logan…  
  
Max frowned. What about Zack's taking some responsibility for this?   
  
"How about you taking some responsibility for this?" she demanded aloud.  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yes *you*." Max stood up. "What did Logan have to do with this?"  
  
Zack blinked. "Max…"  
  
"Forget this!"  
  
Max saw red. She didn't need this right now. She couldn't deal with it. And she couldn't risk the baby by   
kicking Zack's ass. But she'd be damned if she was just gonna sit around this room letting Zack try to   
blame shift. This was a baby they were talking about. It shouldn't be about blame in the first place.  
  
Zack didn't know why Max was so angry at him. It was Logan she should be pissed at. They should both   
be in Seattle right now, kicking miracle boy's ass. But he was sorry if he upset her. She didn't need that   
now. He didn't want to upset her.  
  
But at the moment, Max didn't want to hear it. "Max, I just…" Zack broke off in mid-sentence when Max   
reached the door and grabbed her bag. She threw it at him, and it hit him in the chest.  
  
"Fine. You can't deal with this? Then don't. Who says we needed you anyway?"  
  
"Max!"  
  
Max yanked open the door and glared back at him.  
  
"Well, are you coming or not?" she asked.  
  
Zack shook his head. With Max he never knew whether he was coming or going. Or where he was going,   
for that mater.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"To Seattle, of course. That's what you wanted, right?" Max practically spit the words. Then she slammed   
the door behind her.  
  
To Seattle.  
  
Zack stood there for a moment before he followed her. That was what he'd wanted, right? Well, no. It's   
what he'd thought was the right thing to do. He drew himself up as he left the motel room. And if it hurt   
more than it should that Max had decided to listen to him…well that was Zack's own damned fault.  



	9. Chapter 9

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
Disclaimer and rating in chapter 1.  
  
  
  
Chapter 9  
  
  
  
Max didn't know how long they'd been driving since they'd switched to one bike. She'd rejected the idea   
at first, but it had shortly become apparent, during their trip back to Seattle, that they weren't going to get   
anywhere fast if they had to keep stopping for her to rest. Max really should have taken it easier today, but   
this was an emotional time for her.  
  
Still, she'd seen his logic when Zack had suggested they hide Max's bike on the side of the road   
somewhere and continue on together. But she hadn't liked it, and she'd said so. She didn't like leaving her   
baby. But she also didn't like the idea of spending the next miles in such close proximity to Zack. She was   
supposed to be hating him right now. She was supposed to be furious at him. And a part of her still was.   
But she couldn't hate him. Mostly, she just wanted to curl up against his chest and cry, let his strong arms   
wrap around her and forget about everything else. Being pressed up next to him, thighs touching, her arms   
wrapped around his waist, as they headed back to Seattle wouldn't help her resolve any. Every time she   
and Zack touched Max's mind would go back to that night they'd spent together, and her treacherous body   
would go haywire.  
  
But she could hardly tell Zack that. She wondered if Zack felt the same way. He obviously didn't want the   
paternal role Max was offering him. And if he'd wanted a relationship with Max before, that was probably   
off now because of the baby. But that didn't mean he didn't still want her. Not that that thought comforted   
Max in any way. But at least it made her feel a little less alone in the desire she felt in his nearness.  
  
Anyhow, she couldn't tell Zack that. And she could only resist his suggestion so long. It was best if they   
just got all of this over with, and the quickest way to do that would be to let Zack take charge so she could   
rest. At least she'd managed to convince Zack to take her bike instead of his, then he could come back for   
his later, the way he'd promised to do for hers.  
  
This, however, presented another problem in itself. Max had never let anyone else drive her baby before –   
except Logan. It was just a little thing, but it seemed so…intimate to her. She really took her bike   
seriously. She would just have to try and not think about it.  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
He would just have to try and not think about it.  
  
That's what Zack would do. He could do this. He could deal with this. He could still make things work   
with Max. She obviously didn't intend to stay with Logan, anyhow. It had been her idea to leave Seattle.   
And she didn't seem as shook up about it as she had that one time he'd almost gotten her to leave with him.   
  
So they were over. Max didn't want to be with Logan. If Logan had let her go, then he obviously no   
longer wanted to be with her either. There was no reason why she couldn't be with Zack. Right?  
  
Maybe what had happened before had been a mistake. For her, anyhow. Maybe those words she'd spoken   
in the night had just been brought on by the heat of the moment. Or by the desolation she felt because of   
the fight with Logan. Maybe she wasn't seriously considering a relationship with Zack; maybe she never   
had.  
  
But she wouldn't be adverse to it. Zack knew it. She didn't look at him like she felt disgusted by what   
they'd done, or sorry about it. In fact, the way she looked at him…  
  
Zack's hands tightened on the handlebars.  
  
'Fuck, Zack. She's pregnant. Don't even think about it!'  
  
He wouldn't think about it. He wouldn't think about being angry at Logan – what's happened has   
happened. What mattered now was what he and Max did next. And he wouldn't think about how bad it   
hurt knowing that baby wasn't his. It couldn't be his, right? They'd only been together, that once, two   
months ago. Max didn't look two months along. Didn't pregnant women start to show by then? And she   
was still sick. Wasn't that, like, just an early symptom? Zack had to admit he knew nothing about   
pregnancy or babies. He knew that baby couldn't…  
  
Well…  
  
Did he? Did he really know it couldn't be his? The thought hadn't even occurred to Zack. When it did,   
his head snapped us as though he'd just been shot at. What if…  
  
Zack shook his head.  
  
No. He wasn't going to just assume that. He wasn't even going to speculate about that. This was bad   
enough without getting any false hopes. If he started thinking of the baby as his now, only to find out it   
really was Logan's, or someone else's, it would be like finding out for the first time all over again. But   
could he just keep assuming it wasn't his?  
  
Zack wanted to howl. This was so goddamned frustrating. Like so many other things, Zack told himself he   
just wouldn't think about it. He'd had a lot of surprises today. He needed to step away from this shit for a   
moment. To recoup and redeploy. Then he'd think about things. Then he and Max could talk. Would he   
ask her then, if the baby was his? Would he sound like an idiot? No, he'd told himself he wouldn't think   
about it. Now was not the time and place – on Max's bike, with her and her baby's safety in his hands.  
  
Better to concentrate on something he could think about. Something he could be sure about.  
  
He wasn't going to turn Max away. He wasn't going to walk away again. He wasn't going to "give her her   
space" anymore. He always did that, and what did it get him? He always did the "right thing". And the   
right thing might be making Max go back to Logan and try to work things out. Hell knew Logan could   
provide for her better. He'd certainly be a better father for their child. But he'd given up that privilege by   
letting Max go. Hadn't he? This made twice that Max and Logan had blown up. Who said miracle boy   
was the one who had to get all the second chances? Third chances? Why couldn't Zack seize the moment   
for once in his miserable life? No, he wasn't going to just back off this time. Despite what he'd said, he   
wasn't going to let Max go back to Seattle. Not yet. Not till they'd talked – really talked. They weren't   
headed to Seattle now, but either Max was too tired, or just too preoccupied to notice.  
  
They were headed somewhere else. Somewhere Zack could think. He wasn't going to let Max just get   
away. Yeah, he felt a little guilty. A little selfish. All this time he'd told Max she should go with him,   
leave Seattle, because she would be safer that way. Well, she'd be safer now if she stayed with Logan.   
With someone who had access to doctors and hospitals. But hadn't that been what Tinga was talking   
about? Hadn't she been trying to tell him that it's not enough to just be "safe"? She talked about really   
living. She'd talked about love. Well, Zack loved Max. That was something, wasn't it? He wouldn't just   
let Max walk away from him the way Logan had. And he wouldn't let anything happen to her, or the baby.  
  
The baby…  
  
Zack wouldn't let anything happen to the baby. He didn't know anything about babies or children, but he   
was pretty sure there was more to them than just making sure "nothing happened". His own childhood had   
been abnormal – he'd realized this some time ago. Normal childhoods consisted of acceptance and support   
and affection. Playtime and…love? That was a normal childhood, and Max would undoubtedly want that   
for her child. It's what she would have wanted for herself. But what did Zack know about any of that   
stuff? If he did somehow convince Max to give him a chance, if he could make a go of being the kind of   
man Max needed, could he be the kind of man the baby needed, too? Could he change diapers and play   
with the kid and resist falling back on habit and treating it like one of the soldiers under his command?  
  
The thought made Zack want to laugh, but not because of humor. He hoped he could do those things. He   
hoped he could be that man, because that was the kind of man he'd have to be to be with Max. She   
wouldn't accept less. If he wanted to be there for Max, he'd have to be there for the baby, too. He was   
surprisingly okay with that. The baby had no control over its parentage. And Zack knew from experience   
that one could not judge others by their "parentage" or lack thereof. If that kind of judgment were   
appropriate, then he'd probably find himself being measured by Donald Lydecker's standards. And he'd   
kill the first man who ever suggested he resembled, in any form or fashion, the "old man".   
  
So being there for the baby wouldn't be about inclination, it would be about ability. Was he able to be   
a…father? If not a father by blood, then at least by station? And what if he and Max did make things work   
and she wanted *another* child. What if she wanted his child?  
  
Zack shifted on the bike seat, making the next turn with a shake of his head.  
  
He got an odd thrill at the thought. Which was crazy. He wasn't certain he had the capacity for family or   
fatherhood. If it hadn't been for his discussion with Tinga he would have considered the whole concept to   
be ridiculous. But Tinga hadn't talked about it like it was ridiculous. And there was something primitively   
satisfying about the thought of Max having his baby. Zack was just so new to all of this. He'd loved Max   
for so long, but he'd just recently accepted the idea that he could put that love into a stable, *normal*   
relationship with her. Now he had to consider the idea of a family relationship. All his life he'd been   
uncomfortable with human emotion – love, compassion. The love he'd felt for his siblings he'd accepted   
because it had always seemed to be there; it was a part of him. The love he'd developed for Max he'd   
accepted because he hadn't been able to fight it. Now he would have to extend his capacity for love to   
include a baby. Babies?   
  
As they neared their destination, Zack's jaw tightened.  
  
He'd told himself he wouldn't think about it, but what if the baby were his? How would he feel about that?   
It wouldn't make him any less uncertain about his abilities. It wouldn't really make him feel any more   
responsible. Whether the baby was his or not he felt responsible. He always would, the same way he   
would always feel that Max was his responsibility. The same way he'd always consider all of the X5s to be   
his responsibility. So, Zack supposed it shouldn't really make any difference whether or not the baby was   
his. Besides the fact that it would mean Max really had been spending all this time since they'd been   
together, pining for him the way he had for her. Of course, that probably shouldn't make a difference   
either, but it did.  
  
And whether or not the baby was his made a difference to Zack, too. He thought it shouldn't, but it did.   
The thought of the baby being his felt…good. Right. He was far from being sentimental, but…to have   
created a life with Max. To have shared something with her she'd never shared with any other man… It   
appealed to Zack in a very basic way.   
  
When they pulled up in Zane's driveway, Zack stopped the bike and shook his head.  
  
See now, that was why he'd told himself he wouldn't think. Realistically, it wouldn't change anything if he   
thought of the baby as his. It was who it was. He couldn't make it his by wishing. And it wouldn't effect   
his plans if the baby was Logan's. He was still going to ask Max to stay with him; he was still going to try   
to make that life Tinga had talked about with Max and her baby. So all he was doing by thinking about the   
baby's possible parentage was tormenting himself. He had to stop. Now. He and Max could talk after a   
good night's sleep. He'd have plenty to think about then.  
  
Beside him, on the bike, Max stirred. It was only then that Zack realized Max had been dozing. This   
worried him. Max slept so rarely, after all, and she never dozed off. He was again tempted to disbelieve   
her profuse assurances that everything was okay, but he knew Max wouldn't endanger her baby by lying.   
  
"Where are we?" Max asked, looking around. The fact that it had grown dark didn't matter much. Both   
she and Zack could see perfectly well in pitch black. The confusion on her face was simply there because   
she'd expected to end up in Seattle.  
  
"We're taking a little detour," Zack told her in a neutral tone. He hoped she didn't ask him why.  
  
Luckily, she didn't. She was probably too tired to worry about it right now. Zack felt guilty using that   
weakness to benefit his own plans. But the last thing he wanted now was to fight with her again, and he   
was determined that they would stay here tonight and have that talk tomorrow that he'd been depending on.  
  
Max just got off the bike, gathering her pack before Zack took it away from her. His sudden need to do   
everything for her was both endearing and annoying, but again she didn't protest. Zack probably felt he   
was doing her a favor by stopping for the night, giving her a chance to sleep. He himself probably   
considered the detour an inconvenience. Usually, Max would say tough shit. But right now she wasn't   
feeling all that cocky. She really did need to rest.  
  
"We'll stay here tonight," Zack was saying. "And tomorrow…"  
  
He didn't finish. He was just looking at her, intensely. Max had to look away. Was that…  
  
If only she really was seeing what she thought she saw in his eyes. But he didn't feel that way about her   
now, did he? He didn't want her or the baby. Not the way she wanted him to want her. They'd stay there   
overnight, and then tomorrow they'd keep going for Seattle. That was what Zack had been about to say,   
right?  
  
Max just nodded.  
  
Max headed for the house, when the sound of a dog barking and a door opening stopped her in her tracks.  
  
Max froze where she was, watching as a tall, well-built man came out on the porch. His blonde hair was a   
mess, and there was stubble covering his chin. He was wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans, and a   
large, mean-looking German shepherd was sitting at his heels, eyeing her warily.  
  
Shock registered within Max. This place was occupied? She'd assumed Zack had found them safe,   
abandoned lodging for the night. It wasn't like him to be sloppy. What was going on?  
  
But, whereas the dog was staring at Max, its owner was staring at Zack.  
  
"What the hell are you doing, man, showing up at this hour? Scared the fucking…"  
  
Then the man's words trailed off as his eyes landed on Max. Max swallowed. A sudden recognition hit   
her, almost making her knees weak with surprise and relief. That couldn't be…  
  
"Max?" the man asked, softly. As if he didn't quite believe it. The irritation on his face disappeared, and   
surprise was in its place.  
  
It was him.  
  
"Zane?" Max asked.  
  
Oh, my God, it was Zane! It was Zane! Her brother!  
  
Zane slowly started to grin. "Max!"  
  
Max threw herself into her brother's arms, while Zack watched from behind, smiling. Zane and Max   
looked like a couple of kids getting their Christmas presents. Krit and Syl had looked the same way a   
couple of years ago when Zack had accidentally introduced the two.  
  
It was all about family. Tinga was right. They all wanted family. Even Zack. But would he get his?  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions   
by pari106   
  
Disclaimer, rating, etc. found in Chapter 1.   
  
  
  
Chapter 10   
  
Later, Zack was sitting at the small table in Zane's kitchen. It was late, and Fluffy was sleeping at Zack's   
feet. Zack shook his head and sighed. Damned dog. But he still reached down and patted the mutt's head,   
affectionately.   
  
Max had gotten tired and had gone up to bed. Zane had asked her about that, concerned, but she hadn't   
said anything. Zack had intervened and said it had just been a long day. They hadn't mentioned Max's   
pregnancy yet. Zack had been reluctant to voice the issue, and Max had followed his cue. Zack figured   
Max and Zane had enough catching up to do as it was. And Max had already had to make her revelation   
once that day. He'd hoped he was doing the right thing by steering Zane away from talk about the baby.   
He'd thought Max might not want to have to explain herself again. And if the smile she'd given him before   
going up to bed was any indication, Zack had been right.   
  
Also, he wanted to talk to Zane about the situation himself. In fact, he'd wanted to tell Zane himself. He'd   
gone up just a moment ago and had gotten Max's permission. She'd looked puzzled at his request, and he   
didn't blame her. It probably wasn't his child, so he really had no right to being the one to tell Zane about   
it. But he had this odd desire to do so. He was glad Max didn't question him about it. He wasn't sure   
what he'd tell her.   
  
Now he was just waiting for Zane to get home. He'd volunteered to take his truck and go get Zack's bike.   
Zack had insisted it was unnecessary just yet, but Zane had said he was too hyped up now to sleep anyhow.   
  
When Zane got back, Zack realized he was unusually nervous. That realization pissed him off, but he   
pushed that sensation away.   
  
Zane came into the kitchen and straddled a chair across from Zack with another huge grin.   
  
"Wow," he said, shaking his head. "Max. I can't believe it."   
  
Zack had to smile at the total shock in the other man's voice.   
  
Then Zane reached over and punched him in the arm.   
  
"Man, you were really serious about doing this thing different, weren't you? But, still…coming here. I   
didn't think you had it in you to do the reunion thing."   
  
Zack rolled his eyes. It wasn't like he'd done anything miraculous. But then, for Zane, who hadn't ever   
seen any of the other X5s, tonight must kind of seem miraculous.   
  
Then, more serious: "Thanks, Zack," Zane said.   
  
For the first time Zack really felt bad about all those years he'd kept his brothers and sisters apart. For the   
very first time. He'd taken a lot of ribbing for it before, but none of it had ever registered. Even when he'd   
talked with Tinga. He'd felt cornered into making the decision to lighten up on the X5s. He'd felt there   
was no other way to prevent chaos. His troops were unhappy with leadership; leadership had to   
compromise. It was as simple as that. And he'd *wanted* to do things differently. Of course, he'd always   
wanted the kind of life Tinga talked about. He'd wanted real life. He'd wanted to see his brothers and   
sisters together again. He'd just never felt comfortable admitting it. Even to himself. He'd felt more   
comfortable with doing things the old way. The soldier's way. It was the only way he'd ever known.   
He'd only considered changing for Max. And for the sake of order with the X5s.   
  
Now, though, he realized it wasn't just his siblings' obedience that concerned him the most. He really did   
want them to be happy. He could do that by bringing them together. And he wanted to – to bring all of   
them together. He would, one day. Maybe he should have done things differently from the very beginning.   
He'd just been trying to keep them safe. But still…   
  
"I was just looking out for you, brother," Zack told Zane. He got an uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu; like   
he was talking to Tinga again, that last time, all over again. But Zane wasn't Tinga. Zane probably knew   
him better than all of the other X5s. As much as Max, though on a different level. Zane just smiled.   
  
"I know," he said.   
  
Then things were quiet a moment.   
  
"So, you're really doing this? Max knows, I guess."   
  
Zack shrugged, non-committal.   
  
"We still have some talking to do," he said evasively. He had some talking to do. Hopefully Max would   
listen. Right now Zack wasn't sure. If that last time they were together really was a fluke, and Max didn't   
love him, he was starting to think that he might sound like an idiot. He could be a hardheaded, hard-   
hearted son-of-a-bitch sometimes; he'd admit it. He'd lived alone, on the run, for a long time. He was   
used to answering to no one but himself. Why the hell would any woman want to spend her life with a man   
like him? And that was what he was offering. He wasn't religious, like Ben had been. He didn't know if   
love entailed licenses and rings, like it had for Tinga and Charlie. He knew Zane always talked about   
settling down with one woman – the "forever" kind of settling down. And Zack didn't know if that were   
possible, but that was what he was considering now. Forever. If for no other reason than he didn't think   
he'd be able to live without Max once he'd learned how to live with her. He'd accept a more temporary   
arrangement, if that was what Max wanted. He couldn't guarantee he'd do the noble thing and just let her   
go when it came time. But he'd try to accept it.   
  
"She's beautiful," Zane was saying now, dreamy-eyed. If Zack didn't know any better, he'd take offense to   
that comment. But he knew the look in Zane's eyes was brotherly affection, nothing more. He was just   
doing what he had been all night – trying to get his mind around the fact that Maxie was here. All grown   
up.   
  
Zack found himself frowning. He wasn't good at beating around the bush. Usually, if he had something to   
say he said it. So he should just say it: 'Max is pregnant.' Why the hell was he waiting?   
  
"But I'm worried about her health. She never had to sleep much before. Why again did Logan…"   
  
Zack interrupted Zane mid-sentence.   
  
"Max is pregnant," he blurted.   
  
Silence.   
  
"Wha…" Zane stared at his brother, wide-eyed.   
  
"Max is pregnant," Zack repeated uncomfortably. He could swear Zane was about to start sputtering.   
  
Zane just stared at Zack for a moment. Then he slowly began to smile.   
  
"I don't believe it," he breathed.   
  
Zack frowned again.   
  
"Why? I told you about Tinga. We can have children."   
  
Zane rolled his eyes. "I know that," he said, as though talking to a child. Then he smiled again. "But   
Max…our baby sister. And *you*."   
  
Zack stilled. Oh, shit, not this. He got up and headed to Zane's sink, staring over it and out the window.   
  
Zane, sensing he'd said something wrong, frowned. "Hey, Zack. I was just…"   
  
"I didn't say it was mine," Zack said quietly. He wasn't going to think about it, right? He wasn't going to   
torment himself with the thought. He wasn't going to grip Zane's counter in a white-knuckled grip and   
stare out that window, trying to look casual…   
  
Oh, shit, he was. Zack turned back around and shoved his hands in his pockets.   
  
Zane didn't know what to say. If he weren't X5, he wouldn't even have heard his brother. They looked at   
one another for a moment.   
  
"Are you sure?" he asked, as serious as Zack was. "Did Max…"   
  
Zack shook his head. "No, Max didn't say so."   
  
"Then…"   
  
"She didn't say it was mine, either, Zane."   
  
Zane came around the table to stand by his brother. He wanted to be supportive for his brother, but he   
really didn't think Max would sleep with Zack and then go and get pregnant by someone else. He'd seen   
the way Max looked at Zack tonight. It was obvious she cared about him. The fact that this wasn't obvious   
to Zack only emphasized his older brother's inexperience with relationships.   
  
"Do you really think Max would be with somebody else? After having just been with you?"   
  
Zack sighed.   
  
"I don't know. She was confused, Zane. I took advantage of that…"   
  
"Bullshit."   
  
"She'd just had a fight with Logan."   
  
"You told me that fight was days before you and her hooked up."   
  
"Well, yeah. But…"   
  
"What if she wasn't confused? What if she was just figuring out something she'd known all along?"   
  
"She left the next morning, Zane."   
  
Zane shrugged. "So she was scared. So were you."   
  
Zack looked at him with surprise. Zane was probably the only person in this world who would ever accuse   
Zack of being "scared". But he was probably right.   
  
"You left, too," Zane reminded him.   
  
Yeah, he'd left. After he'd waken up to find Max gone, he'd left. He shouldn't have.   
  
"So…what do you think?" Zack finally asked.   
  
Zane leaned against the counter beside him.   
  
"About the baby?" Zack nodded, and Zane grinned.   
  
"Excellent. I'm going to be an uncle. Again," he added. "How 'bout you? You gonna be a daddy, or   
what?"   
  
They looked at each other. Zack knew Zane wasn't rehashing the possible paternity of Max's baby. He   
was asking what Zack planned to do about it.   
  
Finally, Zack nodded. "If Max'll let me."


	11. Chapter 11

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions   
by pari106   
  
Disclaimer…etc., on Chapter 1.   
  
Chapter 11   
  
Max awoke in the morning, well rested. The first rays of dawn were sneaking through the window. She   
smiled happily. The bed was soft and comfortable. The room was…homey, she supposed is what she   
would call it. It was Zane's guestroom, and the only room in the house she had seen that wasn't a total   
mess.   
  
Reluctantly, Max rose, throwing back the quilts on the bed. She'd slept in her clothes, and the temptation   
of a nice, warm shower loomed, invitingly, before her. But there were other things she had to see to first.   
  
With a frown, Max ruffled through her pack and pulled out a fresh outfit, changing quickly.   
  
Zack. She'd dreamed about him last night. The kind of dreams usually reserved for her heat cycles. It was   
embarrassing. And confusing, as so much else at the moment. Yesterday, Max had been certain Zack had   
decided to reject the baby and send both it and her packing. But then he'd taken her here instead of to   
Seattle. He'd brought her to see Zane. And he'd asked to be the one to tell their bother about the child.   
Did that mean he'd changed his mind? Was he willing to accept the baby? Did that mean he was willing   
to consider having a family? A real family – her, Zack, and the baby – living together?   
  
Max didn't know. But she was going to find out.   
  
  
  
**** ****   
  
  
  
When Max finally came downstairs, she found Zane on the front porch. He was in the same pair of faded   
jeans and a sweatshirt. Max smiled affectionately. It was good to see him still there; as if she'd feared last   
night was just a dream. She'd wondered sometimes, despite the quid pro quo she'd struck up with Logan,   
despite having found Zack, if she'd ever really get to see the others again. Now she'd gotten to see Zane.   
It was wonderful.   
  
Zane was sitting on the porch swing, watching Fluffy…God, that name!…run around the property, chasing   
squirrels or something. Max sat down beside him, and Zane turned to smile at her as she did.   
  
"Hey! Morning, sis," he told her, with a brotherly peck on the cheek.   
  
"Hey," she replied.   
  
She really liked Zane. He'd always been so friendly and charming. He still was. It was odd that he was so   
much like Zack. Zack was so reserved and careful. Zane was extroverted and spontaneous. He and Zack   
looked very much alike, and Zane was the oldest next to their big brother.   
  
Max shook her head, as they both turned back to watching the dog play. She really was hopeless. Mere   
moments, and her thoughts had already returned to Zack again.   
  
Zane, as if sensing her thoughts, gave her a look.   
  
"He's out back in the barn," he told her, making her turn to him in surprise.   
  
"What?"   
  
Zane grinned.   
  
"I see right through you, baby sister," he told her.   
  
Max had to smile.   
  
"It's really good to be here," she told him.   
  
Zane tugged a lock of her hair, playfully.   
  
"Ditto. It's good to see you. Hope you don't plan on making this a one-time thing."   
  
Max shook her head. "Definitely not."   
  
Regardless of what happened between her and Zack she was going to see Zane again. She knew where he   
lived now, and she would tell Zane how to get to her in Seattle. They couldn't just disappear out of one   
another's lives again, now that they'd just found one another again. Surely Zack would be okay with it. He   
was the one who'd brought her here, after all.   
  
Still, the thought of Zack made Max's eyes darken.   
  
"I don't know how Zack's gonna feel about it, though," she admitted.   
  
Zane just looked at her. Max thought it was odd, the way he was looking at her – as if he knew something   
she didn't. Then he just turned back to watching his pet.   
  
"Guess you need to talk to him about that, huh?" was all he said, in an odd kind of tone.   
  
So Max headed for the barn.   
  
  
  
**** ****   
  
  
  
When Max entered the barn, she saw Zack on the opposite end of it. He was leaning against the bottom   
half of the door, which was closed, staring out at something. She could see that he'd recognized her   
presence by the slight tensing in his shoulders, even from all the way across the barn. Still, she took her   
time walking over to him. When she was beside him, she saw what he'd been staring at.   
  
Max smiled. "Zane didn't tell me he had horses."   
  
Zack turned to her and smiled. She realized they were just making polite conservation, but that was okay.   
  
"They're not really his," Zack told her. The last people that owned this place left them." Zack shook his   
head and kind of laughed. "Zane doesn't know shit about horses. He couldn't ride one if his life depended   
on it. But he can't get rid of them. They're too wild. Guess that's why they got left."   
  
Max looked out at them, and laughed, too. She remembered Zane used to always have that knack for   
attracting animal life. Whether he wanted it or not. They'd be out in the woods on training exercises, and   
for most of them, it was like they were the only living things within miles. But whenever Zane was near,   
the wood creatures would come out in droves. It would drive him crazy, and Max knew it was because   
he'd wanted so badly to explore them more. He'd wanted a pet. But if Manticore had ever known they'd   
probably have had the woods exterminated. Zane had had to kick the animals out of his way and go on   
with the exercise so that his commanding officers wouldn't know what was up.   
  
But, standing there next to Zack, it wasn't long before Max came out of her reverie and back to the issue at   
hand. She watched his profile for a moment, knowing he was probably noticing this, but not turning away.   
Again, she was struck by how perfect his features were. It wasn't something Zack paid any attention to,   
which is probably what made him all that more attractive. And they were all designed to be beautiful, so it   
wasn't as if any one of them could claim the praise for their physical attributes. It's just that Zack was such   
a contradiction; more so than any of the X5s. He was so beautiful. But there was such darkness in his   
eyes. He'd seen and done too much. Still, underneath that, Max thought Zack was every bit as wonderful   
as his physical appearance. He'd just never gotten the chance to show that side of himself.   
  
Finally, when Zack realized Max was still watching him, he turned, and their eyes met. It was like an   
electrical charge went right through them, freezing them in place, trapped in each other's eyes.   
  
Zack, too, was taken by the beauty of the person he loved. If he'd known Max's thoughts, he might not   
have agreed with her conclusions about him. He had much less faith in his own humanity. But he put all   
his faith in Max's. She truly was beautiful, inside in out, if he'd ever been sentimental enough to think so.   
She was physically perfect, but she was also compassionate and selfless and brave. Of course, all of this   
went without saying to Zack. Anyone could look at her and see how beautiful she was. Anyone could get   
to know her and see what a good person she was. Despite, or maybe even because of her upbringing. But   
just then, looking into Max's eyes, Zack was overcome by the surprising need to speak the unspoken. To   
tell her how beautiful she was. Then to tell her how he loved her.   
  
So that's what he began to do.   
  
"You really are beautiful, you know that Maxie?" he said quietly. Then he reached up and cupped her   
cheek in the palm of his hand.   
  
Max's eyes widened. Max had never heard Zack talk like that in her entire life. And she'd dreamed, for so   
long, of him doing exactly that, that at first she wasn't sure she heard him right.   
  
"What?"   
  
Zack laughed. And he smiled – really smiled. One of those rare Zack smiles that came so unexpectedly.   
  
"Can't take a compliment, soldier?" he asked.   
  
Slowly, Max began to smile, too.   
  
"Zack?"   
  
She couldn't believe this was happening.   
  
Neither could Zack. It seemed all too easy. But then, it would also be all to easy to just end this   
conversation and kiss her. To convince her to stay in a way that didn't require words. But they'd already   
tried that route once before; they'd tried to express their emotions through making love. It had been   
wonderful, but it hadn't been enough to appease their uncertain natures. Zack didn't want to make that   
same mistake again. He wanted Max. But he wanted to resolve this situation first. He wanted it to be   
clear, when they made love again, that love was the operative word there. There wouldn't be any fear, any   
running away, this morning after.   
  
So he stepped back, reluctantly tucking his hands in his pockets.   
  
Max recognized his actions for what they were, and she, too, took a step back.   
  
So this was it. The big talk. No use procrastinating.   
  
Max charged right ahead.   
  
"What did you mean?" she asked.   
  
Zack blinked.   
  
"What?"   
  
Max shook her head, then clarified. "Last night. You said we'd stay here last night, and then today…"   
  
Zack saw where she was going. "Today we talk," he told her.   
  
It was a simple answer, but it was the one Max had been looking for.   
  
"You're not taking me back to Seattle?" She saw something flash through Zack's eyes at the mention, and   
his jaw tightened. But only for a moment, then it was gone.   
  
"Do you want to go back to Seattle?" he asked, deceptively neutral.   
  
Max looked at him. Okay, she hadn't imagined it. That was worry that had flashed through Zack's eyes.   
It was there again. He was worried she would take him up on his offer and ask to go back. He hadn't   
really wanted to send her away all along.   
  
Max took a step back to Zack. Then she shook her head. "No, Zack. I don't want to go."   
  
Zack released a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.   
  
"So, what's next?" Max asked then. Her throat felt so dry. Had she been right this morning? Had Zack   
reconsidered? Did he want her and the baby – really want them?   
  
Zack paused. Steeled himself. "Now…we go back to Seattle," he told her. Surprise leapt into Max's eyes,   
and Zack continued before she could get the wrong idea. "You and me. For good."   
  
There was silence. Max just stared at him. Was Zack saying…   
  
"Zack…"   
  
"It all started because of Tinga…nevermind that," Zack started talking before Max could say anything.   
Damn it, he wasn't good at this shit, and he was going to get it out of the way before Max started making   
her decision. "The point is, I know you wouldn't want to live the way I do, Max. Always running, always   
keeping one step ahead of the enemy. Escape and evade. And you don't have to. Tinga made me think   
maybe…maybe I don't have to either. I'm willing to try. To try it your way. Friends, a place to belong,   
the whole thing. In Seattle. You won't have to give up your job or Original Cindy or anything."   
  
Max blinked. Oh, my God! In one, long rush, Zack had just offered her a future she'd never even dared to   
think about. Could she have Zack and stay in Seattle, too? Could he settle down in one place? She   
wouldn't have to choose between him and stability; she wouldn't have to wonder, every time he stepped   
out the door, if he was coming back.   
  
"I can't believe this is happening…" Max said aloud, but she said it with a dawning smile.   
  
Zack smiled, too.   
  
"Believe it, Maxie," he told her, reaching out to take her face in both his hands. "I want to be with you."   
Then, with a gesture that was so uncharacteristically gentle, and so endearing in its awkwardness, Zack   
reached tentatively out to lay a hand across Max's not-yet-rounded stomach. "And the baby."   
  
Max's eyes brimmed at it all. But she could help asking "Why?"   
  
Zack's smile turned ironic. It was funny she thought she had to ask. To him, it had been as if he'd been   
wearing his heart on his sleeve ever since they'd met.   
  
"Why? Because I love you, Max." Max felt a charge run through her at the words. He'd never spoken   
them before. She'd felt loved by Zack by his actions; by the way he'd made love to her that one night; and   
by the gentleness he'd shown her these last couple of days. But he'd never actually said that he loved her.   
Until now. "I always have," he continued, softer now. "I came to Seattle two months ago to tell you."   
  
Max's eyes darkened at this revelation. She'd wondered, after he'd left, why he'd come in the first place.   
So much happened during his brief stay that she'd never gotten the chance to ask his reasons. Then,   
afterwards, the thought that he might have come just to see her, and that he had left only because of her   
clumsy, frightened reaction that morning, was just too awful to entertain. Now she knew she'd been right.   
  
"I'm sorry, Zack," she said. "I'm sorry I ran away that morning." There was almost a pleading note to her   
voice. She wished she could tell him how sorry she was. "Everything had changed so fast…I was   
just…scared, I guess…"   
  
Zack brushed away a tear that had fallen down Max's cheek.   
  
"I know," he told her.   
  
"I love you, too, Zack."   
  
There they were – those words once spoken, now repeated in daylight. The words Max had spoken to Zack   
that night they'd spent together. Zack's eyes closed a moment.   
  
"Max…you don't have to…"   
  
"But I do, Zack," Max insisted. She knew it would be hard for him to believe it, after all that had happened   
between them in the past. But she knew she'd never love anyone as much as she realized she loved Zack.   
"I love you," she repeated. "Maybe I always did. I just didn't realize it till you left for Canada with   
Tinga."   
  
Zack looked up at her in surprise. Even then? She'd loved him even then?   
  
"Max…"   
  
"I should have stayed with you that morning," Max said.   
  
Zack shrugged. There was a lot of "should have"s in their past. "I shouldn't have left. But I was scared,   
too, Max."   
  
Max's eyes widened. Then she gave him a crooked smile, as well. Zack, mighty CO, admitting he was   
scared?   
  
"I can't believe I'm hearing this." How many times was he gonna make her say that in one conversation?   
  
Zack caught the teasing tone in her voice.   
  
"Don't have a lot of faith these days, do you, Maxie?" he teased, as well.   
  
But then Max grew serious.   
  
"Oh, I've got faith. In you. I just…when I told you, at the motel…"   
  
"Max…"   
  
"It's okay," Max told him, meaning it. "You were surprised. Believe me," she stressed, thinking about   
those sixteen pregnancy tests, "…I know the feeling. But I…I thought you didn't want to accept us. The   
baby. And me. I thought you asked about me going back to Seattle because you didn't want us going with   
you."   
  
Zack shook his head.   
  
"I've always wanted you, Max. And I…"   
  
Zack glanced down at the hand still resting on Max's stomach. All the concerns and uncertainties he'd   
entertained before came back to him. But so did the determination to do this thing the right way.   
  
"I…love the baby," he finally said, almost as if he didn't realize he was saying it aloud.   
  
Max looked at him, speechless with shock.   
  
Then Zack looked away uncomfortably, with a sheepish grin. If Max didn't know better, she'd have sworn   
that was a blush…   
  
"Well, I want to. Give me a little time. I'm new at this, okay?"   
  
Max laughed. God, she loved him.   
  
"Okay."   
  
Then Zack turned back to her. They were standing practically in one another's arms, and their eyes were   
locked. There was just one thing else. One more matter Zack had to resolve. It probably wasn't the time.   
But the question had burned on his brain ever since their trip over here last night, and couldn't be contained   
any longer.   
  
"Max…"   
  
Sensing the change in tone, Max frowned.   
  
"Yeah, Zack?"   
  
"I just gotta ask…don't get upset, okay?"   
  
"Uh…okay."   
  
"The baby…" Zack took a deep breath. He convinced himself that he was prepared for whatever answer   
she gave him, though the pang he felt gazing at her told him he knew which answer he'd prefer. "Am I…I   
mean, is it…who…"   
  
Zack stumbled over his words for a minute, then cussed.   
  
Max raised an eyebrow.   
  
"Zack, what are you trying to ask?"   
  
Okay, fine. Better to just come out and say it.   
  
"Max…who's the baby's father?" 


	12. Chapter 12

Consequences, Choices and Confessions by pari106  
  
Disclaimer…etc., Chapter 1.  
  
  
  
Chapter 12  
  
  
  
It was about fifteen minutes later that Zane looked out his front window and noticed the trail of dust shooting out from his place, towards the main highway. Adjusting his vision, he saw the cause of it: a motorcycle had just taken to the highway as though the hounds of hell were after it.  
  
"What the…"  
  
Then Zane's attention was brought back to the cabin when the front door flew open. In stalked Zack, slamming the door shut again behind him.  
  
"Zack, what the…" Then Zane's words trailed off as he took in his brother's appearance: black eye, swollen lip, dusty clothing. Zane sighed.  
  
"Zack, you didn't…"  
  
"Shut up," Zack muttered, heading for the kitchen for some ice.  
  
Zane sighed again. Apparently he did.  
  
Zane followed Zack into the kitchen. He found his brother slouched in a kitchen chair, and without a word he went to making the ice pack Zack had forgotten about making.  
  
When he was done, he sat down by his brother, making the offering. Zack took the ice pack with a grumble that sounded sort of like a thank-you. But it never quite made it to that split lip.  
  
Zack slammed the ice pack down on the table.  
  
"Damn it!" he cussed.  
  
Zane just shook his head. "How the hell you manage to fuck up so royally, Zack, I'll never know. As clumsy as you are, you should have shot yourself in the foot years ago."  
  
Zack glared in his brother's direction, but he made no defense against his expertise with women. Or lack thereof.  
  
"Marksmanship requires a different skill set," he muttered indignantly.  
  
Zane grinned. "Different. But equally important. At this rate, you'll either end up a lonely, old man or a very dead, young one." Then Zane's expression sobered. "I guess you asked her."  
  
Zack looked up at him, sharply. Sometimes it really got on his nerves when his brother did that – read him so well. But he supposed it was a time saver.   
  
"Yeah," he replied.  
  
Zane gave a low whistle. "Not smart, bro," he commented. Zack rolled his eyes.  
  
Yeah, he'd kind of figured that out.  
  
With a wince, Zack pressed the icepack to his lip. Usually, he could take a bullet and not flinch. But he was wincing now, though mostly in reference to his own stupidity than out of any true physical pain.  
  
"I had to know," he said in his defense.  
  
"And you couldn't have waited till *after* you sorted out all that other stuff?"  
  
Zack shifted in his seat. Yeah, it was probably not smart to say the first 'I love you'…and ask Max if she was, in fact, carrying another man's baby…all in the same sentence.  
  
Fuck! He deserved to be a very dead young man. When the hell would he stop doing things with Max the wrong way?  
  
"I'm not good at waiting," he told Zane, to mask these thoughts.  
  
Zane shrugged. "Well…you wanted to know. Guess now you know."  
  
Zack blinked. "Yeah. Now I know…" Beneath the regret for having upset Max, and the anger at his own clumsiness, a good feeling started to grow within Zack. It was his baby. Max was carrying his baby. He was going to be the father to a baby; a *real* father, all the way through. It was an absurd thought, but a good one.  
  
"So what are you gonna do now?" Zane asked. What did he have to do? Draw his brother a map?   
  
Luckily, he didn't. Zack looked up at him with certainty.  
  
"I'm going to go after her," he said.  
  
"And then?"  
  
Zack pressed the ice pack against his jaw with a raised brow.  
  
"Then I'm probably going to get the shit kicked out of me again," he quipped. Zack sighed. "After that I'm going to propose." 


	13. Chapter 13

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
pari106@hotmail.com  
http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html  
  
Disclaimer: Cameron…Eglee…FOX…  
  
  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Logan Cale had developed a precise method of relieving stress over the years. A formula for it, really.   
Applicable to all sorts of levels of stress.   
  
Say, for instance, he was having a bout of 'the-world-is-going-to-hell' kind of stress. A little candlelight,   
soft music…that usually did the trick. Before the shooting he usually preferred exercising this particular   
method while in the presence of good company…good company of the female persuasion, that is. But he'd   
no longer considered that an option after having landed in the chair. Not just because he felt unsure with   
dating in his new lifestyle, but also because of Max.  
  
But mostly because of Max. He would admit that now.  
  
Still, woman or no, good music and good food could definitely help him relax.  
  
Or sometimes just throwing himself into his work. That helped. Unless, of course, his stress originated   
*from* work. In which case he would revert to method A, or method C: alcohol.  
  
But…method C he'd come to rely on less and less over the years. A fact he refused to attribute to growing   
older.  
  
Now, stress of the ultimate kind: Max stress, Wow-Valerie's-back stress, Nathan-Herrerro stress, Bruno-  
Anselmo stress...those kinds of stress required another tactic. A method of relaxation one could   
scientifically term "pissing-Bling-off".  
  
That's how Logan relieved major stress. By pissing Bling off.  
  
It wasn't conscious, really. But it was definitely a working cure for whatever ailed him. Because when   
you have an angry Bling on your hands, you really don't have time to worry about anything else.  
  
But since Max had left to be with Zack, Logan had found that none of these methods were working.   
Despite the occasional crisis for Eyes Only, Logan's life had been nothing but constant thoughts of Max.   
Concerns about how she was doing and *what* she was doing. And, particularly, whether or not she'd   
been doing anything with Zack.  
  
And she'd only left three days ago.   
  
Logan had burned half his candles down to stubs…he'd listened to Sibillius countless times. He'd gone   
through a bottle of his best wine. And Bling wanted to kill him. If he didn't find some way to appease his   
rightfully agitated friend, within the next forty-either hours, he'd probably have to change the locks to his   
penthouse.  
  
And it had only been three days.  
  
It was hopeless.  
  
Logan sighed, staring out a window in his dining room, and ignoring the food cooling on his plate.  
  
Okay, maybe not hopeless. It wasn't the end of the world, after all. He loved Max. But he'd been aware,   
for some time now, that he might never have anything with her. If he were to be brutally honest with   
himself, he would have to admit that that was probably why he'd become so desperate to win back her   
affection over the last couple of months. It was a part of his nature. He just couldn't help fighting that   
much harder for the lost causes.  
  
Not that he didn't really love Max. He did. It would probably take him some time before he could stop   
picturing a future for himself with her in it. But he realized that love was not going to be returned. It was   
not going to be fulfilled. And he had to move on.  
  
He just hoped Max and Zack were doing so, as well. He hoped Max was right about the other man. When   
he looked at Zack he saw one world-hardened kid, but if Max looked at him and saw someone she could   
build a life with…well, Logan wanted that. Just as long as Max was right and Zack was that someone.  
  
Logan wondered how Zack had reacted when he'd heard about the baby. Would he see it as an   
inconvenience? Or would he see it as a chance to embrace his humanity on a new level? No doubt that   
Alpha-male mentality of his would find its ego stroked. It had taken Logan some time to come to terms   
with what had happened between Max and Zack. But once he had, he hadn't disagreed with Max when she   
told him she believed Zack loved her; that she'd just scared him away. Logan had known for a long time   
that what Zack felt for Max was far from brotherly in the sense that other humans saw it. Logan's only   
concern was how that love manifested itself. As he'd said, time and time before, Zack was good at loving   
from afar. Showing up when times got tough and lending a hand. But he wasn't so sure the young man   
could handle conventional love – home, family, that kind of thing. And Logan knew that was what Max   
wanted. If only she'd let him be the one to give it to her…  
  
Then a sound brought Logan out of his thoughts.  
  
"What…"  
  
He began to wheel out of the bedroom…and stopped when Max suddenly appeared in the doorframe.  
  
"Max!"  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Logan got this distinct feeling of déjà vu.   
  
Here he was, again, sitting at the dinner table, again, with Max. And he could tell she had something on   
her mind, but that she wasn't ready to talk about it yet. She'd yet to tell him what had happened with Zack.   
But at least, this time, Logan knew Max's reticence stemmed from the need to think things through and not   
from some feeling of distance towards him. So they made it through dinner. But when Max volunteered to   
do the dishes, Logan wheeled into the kitchen with her and decided to broach the subject that was on both   
their minds.  
  
"What happened, Max?" Logan asked. Max probably hadn't even realized he'd entered the room, she was   
so preoccupied. And now Logan watched her back stiffen before she gave up her chore, for the time being,   
and turned to him.  
  
Max sighed and leaned against the counter. She didn't meet Logan's eyes.  
  
"We…fought," she finally admitted, then winced at her own exaggeration.  
  
Okay, so it hadn't been a fight, exactly. She'd soccer-punched him. Then, while he was still too shocked   
to react, she'd given him a right hook, and then a left. Then she'd blazed out of there like hell itself was on   
her tail. But she supposed that could be considered a fight…in some countries.  
  
Max sighed again. Why did things always blow up between her and Zack?  
  
As Logan watched these emotions cross Max's face, he felt his jaw stiffen. Zack had fought…with a   
pregnant woman? Well, not physically, after all. Even Zack wasn't that far gone. But he'd upset a   
pregnant woman? He'd upset Max?  
  
"Did he not want the baby?" Logan asked quietly. He wanted to be sensitive to Max's situation but his   
eyes were beginning to narrow. Had Zack turned her and the child away? The almighty, dutiful big   
brother couldn't accept his duty towards his own offspring? Zack was dead. Logan didn't know how –   
because, honestly, Zack could chew him up and spit him out if he had the inclination – but Zack was dead.   
Somehow, Logan was going to kill him.  
  
Or, at least, he entertained the thought for a moment. But then Max was shaking her head.  
  
"No. No, he wanted the baby…" Max hesitated, then corrected herself. "He wants the baby."  
  
Logan looked up at her in surprise. Really? He felt equal parts relief and selfish disappointment at that.   
But, then, what was the problem?  
  
"Did you and he…"  
  
Max didn't let him finish. She turned back to the dishes.  
  
"No, Logan, we're fine," she told him sharply. Then she paused. Why the hell was she getting angry at   
Logan?  
  
Logan stiffened. Why the hell was she getting angry at him?  
  
Max turned back.  
  
"I'm sorry, Logan," she said. "I'm just…" Suddenly Max's eyes filled with tears.  
  
Logan saw the moisture collecting in her eyes and frowned, rolling closer to her.  
  
"Hey. Max, it's okay…" He reached out and took Max's hand.  
  
Max nodded, reeling her emotions back in and taking a shaky sigh.  
  
"I know, I just…" she gave him a weak smile. "Screwy pregnancy hormones, right?"  
  
Logan tried to return her smile.  
  
"Zack and me just had a little fight, okay? I need some time to cool off…" Then Max smiled again. "And   
I could use a friend?"  
  
Logan squeezed her hand.  
  
"Of course."  
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Zack waited a while to pursue Max. Partly so his bruises could heal, and partly because he wanted to give   
her time to get where she was going. The last thing he wanted was to meet her on the road and   
inadvertently provoke her into some kid of road race. He had a pretty good idea she'd be returning to   
Seattle, anyhow, so he knew where he'd be able to find her.  
  
He hoped.  
  
He'd become so paranoid about Max; so afraid of doing the wrong thing. He wanted to give her time to   
cool off. But then he remembered what he'd said about always backing away. He didn't want her to have   
time to do something rash…like go to Logan, perhaps. And he didn't want to just assume that that was   
what she'd do. He had more faith in Maxie than that. He should have had that much faith in the beginning,   
then he would have realized the baby was his and wouldn't have asked what Max had obviously considered   
an insulting question.  
  
Anyhow, Zack waited, and then he set out after her.   
  
  
  
**** ****  
  
  
  
Zack arrived in Seattle late that night. There was no distraught Max rushing down the hall when he headed   
for Logan's penthouse this time, but the whole thing felt an awful lot like that night Zack had come to   
Seattle two months ago to win Max over.  
  
Well, that had gone real well.  
  
He supposed he should feel like he was back where he started; in a way he was. He'd handled a situation   
with Max badly, again, and now he was trying to pick up the pieces…again.  
  
And, once again, when Zack got to the penthouse only Logan was at home. Only this time, he was sitting   
in the living room, rather than the computer room, and he wasn't in the sorry state he had been that night he   
and Max had fought over the training pictures.  
  
Zack slipped quietly into the room and saw Logan's muscles tense as he realized he was not alone. Despite   
himself, Zack felt a small glimmer of admiration for the other guy. This wasn't an X5; Logan was human,   
so he didn't have the capabilities that X5s possess. But he was unusually aware of his surroundings. Zack   
wondered if that was something he'd picked up from Max, or if he'd always been this wary of the world.   
He had a feeling that he always had been.  
  
Logan turned, and two pairs of cold, blue eyes met. This was the first time Zack could ever remember   
being in Logan's presence and not feeling truly threatened by the other man. Cale would probably find that   
hilarious, but it was true. This little human man in a wheelchair intimidated Zack like no one else ever had,   
except perhaps Lydecker…and Zack would kill anyone who accused Zack of being intimidated by him.   
He'd felt intimidated by Logan because Logan, like no one else, had the ability to take Max away from   
him; he had a power over Max that no one else had. And he had a confidence, even when faced with an   
opponent twice as powerful as himself, that Zack didn't even have himself.  
  
Now that Zack no longer felt threatened by Logan he let himself acknowledge these things. He let himself   
consider that perhaps he and the other man didn't always have to be at one another's throats. After all,   
Logan had found Max her doctor. It probably hadn't been easy for him…knowing it was Zack's baby that   
Max carried. But he'd helped her, all the same.   
  
And, besides. Even if he were a threat to Zack…Zack was soon learning that the biggest threat to his own   
happiness…was himself.  
  
There was silence for a moment. In that silence, while Zack studied his rival, Logan did the same.  
  
He had to admit that he was surprised; and that surprise took a bit of the heat out of his anger at the X5. He   
was surprised that he'd never noticed certain things before. He'd always realized that Zack was young, like   
all of the X5s. But he'd never noticed how young he really looked until that moment. He looked confused,   
too. Imagine that? The great and powerful Zack, scared and confused…scared? Yeah, there was a little of   
that. For the first time he could remember, Logan detected uncertainty in the other man. Max did that, he   
knew. Max broke through all those ironclad defenses of Zack's, and made the guy *feel* for once. For the   
first time, Logan didn't focus all his thoughts on what being with Zack might mean for Max. Now he   
thought about what Max's being with Zack might mean for *Zack*.  
  
These were some strong revelations, for both of them. Zack was realizing he didn't hate Logan. And   
Logan was realizing that maybe Max wasn't the only X5 who needed someone in their lives. Despite all   
his posturing, maybe Zack needed her, too. On some level, Logan had probably always known this. It had   
just been easier convincing himself otherwise.  
  
And one meeting and a couple of surprising insights weren't going to suddenly erase all the tension that   
had been there between the two men in the past.  
  
Still, Logan had told himself this was what he wanted, right? He wanted Max to have a life with Zack, if   
that was what she wanted and if Zack was up to building one with her. Zack was here. That was one step   
in the right direction.  
  
"She's on the roof," Logan finally spoke. Then he turned, going back to the files he'd been studying.  
  
After a moment, Zack nodded. But before he left, Logan's voice stopped him.  
  
"It's not always easy... doing the right thing…" he said. He didn't know if he was talking to himself, or   
Zack. Maybe both.  
  
Then he turned to the other man again.  
  
"Don't let me regret this," he told Zack simply.  
  
They stared at one another.  
  
"I won't," Zack replied.  
  
Then he headed for the roof. 


	14. Chapter 14

Consequences, Choices, and Confessions  
by pari106  
  
Disclaimer and rating in Chapter 1.  
  
  
  
A/N: Okay…here's the dealio with this one. I wrote this story, way back when, and   
have been posting little by little, as I received reviews (which I did receive quite a bit of,   
huh? ;) Thank y'all for the responses. I know it was blackmail…but I love y'all, you   
know it ). Anyhow, a problem arose, however. As all these reviews poured in, I became   
less and less happy with the final chapter. Guess I started to worry all the built up hype   
about the story would leave readers disappointed with the end. So I tweaked. And I   
tweaked some more… But there's only so much tweaking one chapter can take. So I   
gave up. And probably totally ruined this before I did. Anyhow, here's what resulted.   
What do you think?   
  
  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Max sat on a ledge on the roof of Foggle Towers and stared out at Seattle. She could   
have gone to the Space Needle, she supposed, like she often did. She needed time to   
herself to think, but she didn't want to be entirely alone, either. She felt lonely enough as   
it was, sitting there with her thoughts.  
  
She shouldn't have lashed out at Zack so harshly. But damnit…where the hell does he   
get off asking her something like that?  
  
"Who's the baby's father?"  
  
Even now, as Max remembered his words, her fists clenched.   
  
He made her so angry! And hurt…it hurt, too, that he would ask that. She realized why   
he had, of course. She'd already realized how uncertain Zack could be when it came to   
their relationship. But understanding why he'd asked didn't make it hurt any less that he   
had. All this time she'd assumed he was being so distant with her because he didn't want   
the baby…well, at least that fear had been laid to rest. And it did say something that he   
wanted to build a life with her and the baby even before he knew for sure that it was his   
own. But how could he think she would sleep around like that? Didn't he have any faith   
in her? Having Zack ask her about the baby's parentage was just the same to Max as that   
day she'd found out about his contact number. When she'd realized he'd given it to   
everybody but her because he considered her too reckless to trust. Now he said he loved   
her and that he wanted to be with her…but he still didn't trust her?   
  
Then Max tensed as she suddenly realized something.  
  
"Logan always said my family has an annoying habit of sneaking up on people," she said   
aloud.  
  
As she'd thought he was, Zack had been watching her from the shadows. For how long,   
she didn't know, but now he walked over to her side.  
  
"Logan also says we're a bunch of thieves," Zack countered softly. Max had to smile.  
  
"Perceptive, isn't he?" she said. But her smile faded as Zack sat down beside her, and   
their eyes latched. They just sat there for a moment, staring at one another, before Zack   
finally looked away.  
  
"Listen, Maxie…I don't know if I can tell you how sorry I am. For hurting you," he told   
her. His eyes traveled back to hers. This time Max looked away.  
  
"You never were good with apologies," she said with a shrug to hide how much his   
words affected her. The truth was, she'd needed that apology. And it warmed her now to   
have had one, even if it also brought a tear to her eye.  
  
Zack reached over and turned her chin so that she was looking at him again.  
  
"I can learn," he told her, not removing his hand. So Max leaned into it, letting Zack cup   
her cheek, and her eyes told him that he'd already been forgiven.   
  
"Max…"  
  
Zack pulled her into his arms and they both clung to one another as though they were   
afraid to let go. Then Zack silently thanked whatever power existed that had made Max   
fall in love with him. God…fate…whatever it was that kept bringing the two of them   
back together whenever someone or something managed to tear them apart. He wasn't   
sure if Tinga had been right…that everyone wanted love and happiness in their life; that   
everyone deserved the chance to find it. But if she were, than surely Zack had used more   
than his fair share of chances to find his own.  
  
After a moment, Max pulled back. She turned in his arms so that he wouldn't have to   
let go of her while she spoke. "We've both made mistakes," she told him, knowing what   
he'd been thinking.  
  
Zack rested his chin on the top of her head. "My mistake was being too afraid to let   
myself trust you, Max," he told her. "I do trust you. You know that." Max looked up at   
him…surprised he'd read so well the thoughts she'd had only moments earlier. Zack   
smiled at her tenderly. "I knew what you'd think. I could see it in your eyes when you   
left Zane's. You looked at me the same way when you found out about the contact   
number."  
  
Max wanted to deny it, but she couldn't. And Zack was still speaking.  
  
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way, Max. That wasn't about trusting you, you know.   
Neither was this. I didn't give you the contact number because I didn't trust myself to be   
able to protect you the same as I've protected all the others. I knew if you had the contact   
number than I wouldn't have a reason to hang around Seattle so often. And I didn't want   
to leave you."  
  
Zack turned her back around in his arms so he could look into her eyes.  
  
"This wasn't about trust either, Maxie. At least…not about my trusting you. It was   
about being afraid. I was afraid to let myself believe what I should have already known   
was true. I was afraid I'd messed things up with you for good, and believing that the   
baby was mine just made that harder to deal with."  
  
Zack couldn't believe he was letting himself say these things, but they were true, and he   
didn't break eye contact with Max as he spoke. He simply watched the emotions flicker   
in her large, almond eyes and told himself it was time to stop being afraid. He had this   
image in front of the world as a fearless leader…well it was time he started living up to it.  
  
"But all being afraid ever got me, Max," he continued, "was to really mess things up with   
you. I won't let that happen again."  
  
By this time a tear slipped down Max's cheek, and she reached up to take Zack's face in   
her hands. She shook her head.  
  
"I'll never figure you out," she said, but she was slowly beginning to smile as she did.   
Zack smiled, too.  
  
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he asked. She laughed. But then she sobered a   
little, settling back into Zack's arms.  
  
"I shouldn't have run from Zane's place," she told him. "I shouldn't have gotten so   
angry."  
  
Zack was still smiling. "Yeah, you should," he said, making her laugh. "The left hook I   
could have done without, though," he continued.  
  
Max turned around to face him. "Oh, poor baby," she teased, leaning up to kiss the spot   
on his jaw she'd punched earlier.   
  
But the touch of her lips to his skin made any laughter cease.  
  
Zack's eyes fluttered closed…feeling like he'd been waiting forever to feel Max's touch   
once again.   
  
Max, too, froze in the middle of the movement…feeling Zack tense. And tensing,   
herself, as Zack's scent and the warmth of his nearness began to surround her. When she   
started to draw back, Zack swept her into his arms, crushing his mouth down upon hers. 


End file.
